Daily Post

When should I keep my child home from school?

It's a tough questions that all parents face, from daycare days on. Of course we never want our kids to be sick and miss a day of school. There's all that work for them to catch up on, and for working moms, it means taking a day of vacation and having your own work pile up. But there are times when it's necessary.

Most schools and daycares have written policies, stating that if your child's got a runny nose with green mucous he should stay home, or if they've run a fever in the past 24 hours, because they're likely contagious. But then there are the gray areas. Your daughter wakes up one morning complaining her tummy hurts, and it just happens to be the day of the spelling test. Do you send her, thinking it's just nerves? I did, and she threw up all over the table at school during lunch!

It's a tough call, and one you have to make as a parent based on so many things, including your own child's temperment and how they tend to react to sickness. But it's also important to remember in this year with such widespread flu, that it's probably best to err on the side of caution. Sure, a sick day might make your schedule a little wacky, but remember, it's not only best for your child, it's also best for the health of other children and the entire community. Check out WebMD for a list of guidelines on how long (or if) you should keep your kids out of school, symptom by symptom.

Eat Less, Exercise More: Maybe it's not that easy

How to lose weight has always been a big topic in this country, with fad diets coming and going. But now that the health issues associated with obesity are starting to affect our children, we're involved in a different way as parents -- trying to help our kids lead healthier lives. The issue has the backing of one of the most respected women in America right now, as Michelle Obama launches her Let's Move campaign. There's been a lot of press coverage on it already, and tomorrow she will talk about it to the National PTA convention.

Luckily, there are plenty of things we can do to help our kids lead healthier lives. New reports from the ban on sugary drinks in schools show that it appears to be working, at least in the amount of calories kids are consuming through drinks each day. In North Carolina, soft drinks are banned on elementary school campuses, and for middle and high school kids they can only purchase caffeine-free and diet sodas.

Of course, kids aren't in school 24 hours a day. Is the next step a tax on soft drinks? It's been highly debated for years, but recently researchers have shown that an increase in the cost of sodas will help young adults lose weight.

Where do you stand on this issue? Should we tax soft drinks and pizza? Or should the responsibilty of eating well lie with the individual? And when it comes to weight gain and obesity in the U.S., turns out it's not that simple. Eat less, exercise more has always been the mantra. But have you tried it? It's harder than it sounds, and that might be due to endocrine disrupters. And article today on MSNBC.com has some interesting information on the science behind hormones and how it affects weight loss. Which shows that instead of worrying about soft drinks, we might also need to pay attention to BPA and hormone-injected meats.

It's all very complicated. At least for now, the take home message for parents is to teach kids healthy nutrition, eat simple foods, colorful fruits and vegetables, and stay away from the processed stuff as much as possible. Good luck!

SciWorks

The boys and I are back from spending the morning at SciWorks in Winston-Salem. We had a blast!

We went with three other moms and seven other children, so there were a lot of little ones to keep up with, but having a bunch of moms made it easy. The mom who organized the outing called ahead and managed to get us in at the group rate: children were $3, and parents were free.

SciWorks is a well thought out, hands-on learning experience for kids. The exhibits are grouped together by theme (physics, North Carolina nature, music, health, gross motor, etc.). Each theme has its own room with plenty to see and do. I was pleased that most of the experiments were in working order and were very easy to understand.

Andrew and Benjamin loved the NC nature room and the music room. The nature room has a big tree with a slide as well as a "stream" for fishing. The music area had all sorts of neat instruments, including a huge guitar and a keyboard in the floor that played music when you walked on it. There's also a large food court with vending machines available. Our group opted to eat lunch on the patio in the sunshine. The kids ate and then ran around for a while. By then, was time to go.

Reluctantly, we piled in the car and headed for home. I don't think we saw everything at SciWorks, but we'll be back again to see some more very soon.

PS- Andrew and Benjamin are sound asleep!

Award-Winning Weekend

The Oscars were given out last night, something that was hard to ignore because it was basically the only thing on TV. I have to admit, I get sucked in with the rest, debating who had the best dress and whose hair looked really strange. But the Academy Awards weren't the only ones given out this weekend! On Saturday night our editor attended the awards banquet of the Parenting Publications of America, of which Piedmont Parent is a member, and I'm proud to announce that we walked away with 3 great awards: Gold for cover (the November one with the cute baby dressed up like a turkey, remember that one?), Silver for our Daytrippin' series and Silver for Interview for the exciting article on local band Big Bang Boom by Cristi Driver. You can also read articles from our Daytrippin' series by heading to the Archives page, enter Departments in the Category section and Daytrippin' in the Sub Category section. It's a great resource for finding places to visit around the area and to help your kids learn more about their home state.

We couldn't have gotten this far without all the support and encouragement from readers all across the Triad. Continue to pick up that magazine each month, and check in on the Web site every day for parenting news and events. There's sure to be more award-winning content coming in the future!

PPA Awards

I just returned from the Parenting Publications of America's annual conference, which was held this year in Charlotte. It's an annual meeting where magazine publishers, editors, sales representatives and art directors get together for a few days and share ideas on how to do our jobs better. I met a lot of interesting people and came away with lots of great ideas for the magazine and our Web site.

On Saturday evening, we had an awards banquet, which is basically our version of the Oscars. I'm proud to say that Piedmont Parent won three awards.

1. We won a Gold Award for the stock photo we used on the cover of the November issue. Congratulations to our extremely talented art director Renee Canada!

2. We won a Silver Award for our Daytrippin' column.

3. We also won a Silver Award for Cristi's Driver's piece on Big Bang Boom! Cristi did an awesome job writing this story, and we're so proud of her!

I would also like to congratulate our two sister publications, Charlotte Parent on winning six awards and Carolina Parent on winning five awards, including Gold for overall General Excellence.

Get Moving Triad!

On Monday, the Get Healthy Guilford Coalition is hosting an active transportation summit, Get Guilford Moving! The idea is fascinating. Make use of the many trails and sidewalks in our cities and walk or bike to work and school, rather than getting in the car every day. There are many benefits, from better health due to getting more exercise to helping reduce your own carbon footprint. Unfortunately, for many of us, walking or biking to work is just out of the question. But we can still serve as a good role model for our kids. Take advantage of the beautiful spring-like weather this weekend, and get the family outdoors!

There are many good bike trails in Greensboro and Winston-Salem. The same ones that make it easier for some people to bike to work are also fun for some weekend adventuring. There are even sme more scenic trails to give you a good workout.

If all this biking over the weekend has you inspired to start a car-free commute next week, check out these tips on walking to school safely to get started on the right foot. And don't forget to suppot the Get Guilford Moving summit, as we work toward a healthier and more environmentally-friendly community.

Self Esteem

I think today it is more important than ever to boost your child's self esteem. I hear so much about kids and depression or anxiety. I read yesterday about the two teens who stepped in front of a train to commit suicide because they were so depressed. This is so sad.

Don't you wish you could go back and be a teen again? So, why are these kids so depressed? I am sure some of the reasons are related to parents' break-up or losing a loved one. Then there is the issue of peer pressure in school. I think as single moms we need to pay attention to our children and watch for any signs of depression or shutting out.

Make sure to praise for every good grade or anything you feel your child does well. As an adult I have suffered from anxiety and depression, and it is no fun. I hate to see our kids go through it so young. I do feel that counseling is an option. Better to do this than let the depression get so out of control that the child sees no other option than to take their own life.

FDA Cracks Down on Labels

Have you bought Gerber baby food that claims it's a "Good Source of Vitamin A" because you thought it would be better for your baby? Of course, Gerber food is good for your baby, the company has made baby food from quality ingredients for years. But it turns out some of the company's nutrition claims may be misleading. The reason for this one is that there are no FDA nutrition guidelines for kids under 4. And Gerber's not the only company coming under the microscope. The FDA sent letters to 17 companies yesterday warning them about misleading labels, including Juicy Juicy and POM juice.

It's a wake up call to parents to be smart about food choices. Read nutrition labels carefully, and be careful about marketing and advertising ploys that might be trying to sway emotions. You can find out all you need to know on the nutrition label, thanks to strict regulations about what needs to be printed in the labels. The order nutrients come in is determined by health priority. But you'll notice, the guidelines are for adults and children ages 4 and up. Find out more about the label and recommended daily intake here.

Maybe POM pomegrante juice doesn't cure cancer, and just beause Dreyer's Dibs have no trans fats doesn't mean they're health food (they're definitely high in saturated fats, but if you're eating Dibs, are you really worried about whether it's health food?). But I still feel like parents who purchased Gerber carrots because they're a good source of Vitamin A did the right thing. After all, carrots are a good source of Vitamin A! And the label didn't claim to have a baby's recomended daily allowance of vitamin A, which apparently hasn't been determined. Maybe the next step needs to be setting some guidelines for labeling food for the 2 and under crowd!

The Boys and Brands

Yesterday, the main page blog was about brand-awareness in preschoolers. I know that part of our culture involves going to certain places and doing certain things. However, my family has really tried to shield the boys from so much blatant advertising. It's not just Bill and me, the grandparents and Auntie A are on board as well.

What really planted the seed for me was the movie "Super Size Me," in which a healthy man ate McDonald's food three times a day for a whole month. Besides discussing the major changes in his body, he also explored the marketing McDonald's uses. At the time, it was heavily skewed towards children. I haven't been to a McDonald's since seeing that movie. We also live around the corner from a Burger King the boys have never visited; they don't know what it is.

Part of it is a conscious choice, and part of it is that we eat at home much more than we eat out (it helps that Bill grills a tasty burger, too). As far as television goes, we watch a lot of PBS. I like the programming, and the fact that the commercials are very subtle. Andrew has heard of Chuck E. Cheese from PBS and knows it's a place for kids, but he doesn't know it�s a pizza joint with very large animatronic mice. He'd much rather go to Chick-fil-a with his dad and get a milkshake after supper. He thinks their cow is pretty cool.

Don't get me wrong, both the boys have been to Target, Lowes, and Hobby Lobby enough times to be able to recognize the store logos. Just the other day, Andrew saw a flyer from the Greensboro Children's Museum and immediately knew that logo. He can tell the difference between a can of Coke and a can of ginger ale. I know Andrew and Benjamin will be clamoring for McD's soon enough. And I will probably take them. But for now, I will still enjoy a house free of Happy Meal toys.

Are Preschoolers Brand Loyal?

A new study by the University of Michigan was released this week, showing that kids as young as 3 are aware of brands. One test found 3-5 year olds' brand recognition is as high as 92 percent for over 50 common brands, like Coca-Cola and McDonalds. The second part of the research found that preschoolers have greater brand knowledge on brands targeted toward them. Honestly, I'm not surprised. My 2 year old has been a sort of late talker, but he never fails to shout out "McDonalds!" whenever we drive by the golden arches. And we don't even eat there very much! Brand awareness is one thing, but the question is does this lead to brand loyalty, to bad consumer decisions or even bad habits? I'm waiting for the study on that one.

At first glance, early brand awareness doesn't seem like a bad thing. One way kids learn to read is by recognizing symbols and signs. They see that Target bullseye every day and eventually start associating it with the word "target." Learning about brands and what they represent is also a part of learning your own culture. If a child in your kids' school doesn't know what a Coke is, other kids probably think they're just weird.

But brand loyalty is a mysterious and powerful thing. It influences shopping decisions and maybe even contributes to bad habits. Research has shown that our perceptions and memories are selective, and our minds are both emotional and rational. So when it's time for a quick lunch on the run, are we more likely to swing by McDonalds because of the fun, happy, "I'm lovin' it" brand they've worked so hard to promote? Maybe as adults we're able to resist, but what about kids?

I'm not sure just having brand perception is a reason to curb advertising to very young children, but the other issues that it brings up definitely leave some room for debate.

To read more about the mind and brand loyalty, check out this article from the Brand Channel.

Happy Birthday Dr. Seuss!

Today is the birthday of Theodor Geisel, better known by kids of all ages as Dr. Seuss. The many great works by this prolific writer have helped make learning to read fun and serve as inspiration for the NEA's Read Across America week, which also kicks off today. Michelle Obama will be reading to kids at the Library of Congress, which has launched a new site, www.read.gov, full of resources to help kids learn to love reading. There's also plenty to do right here at home! Head out to the Greensboro Children's Museum for a celebration today. If you can't make that one, the Children's Museum of Winston-Salem will be holding a Sensational Seuss event on Saturday. Check out the storytime at your local library, they're probably celebrating in some way at the readings this week (just call ahead to verify details).

You can also celebrate at home! Go with your kids to Seussville.com for some fun games and information about Dr. Seuss. Check out SeussArt.com to see how the man inspired an entire art movement. And make a special lunch or dinner in honor of Dr. Seuss. Whip up some green eggs and ham, it's pretty simple if you have some green food coloring on hand. Don't have ham? Last year, the kids and I ate green eggs and grits! Nothing like turning a famous breakfast Southern. You could also try out some Cat in the Hat pizzas. Just cut English muffins into the shape of a top hat, then cover with pizza sauce, and put mozerella cheese on in stripes.

And don't forget that the goal of all this celebrating is to make reading fun. You can continue the excitement this week and beyond with some of the tips in our online exclusive, "Improving your Child's Reading Skills," including getting them involved in some every-day reading events like going through the mail or surfing the web.

Exciting Events coming up!

March is already gearing up to be an exciting month for me. Besides traveling to and from Georgia on four separate trips, I'll also be in South Carolina, Wisconsin, Florida and Ohio at some point this month. Crazy!

But in between the out of town excursions, there are some exciting things going on right here in town that I want to share with you. I hope you'll come and join me! First up, at 3 p.m. on Saturday, March 13th, I'll be presenting a free Girls Fight Back! personal safety and self-defense workshop at Advanced World Martial Arts Systems in Kernersville. The program is appropriate for ages 13 and up and will last about 90 minutes, with plenty of time after to answer any questions you may have. I'll be talking about ways to avoid becoming the target of a violent crime by trusting your intuition and behaving like a bad victim and I'll finish up with some simple fight techniques that you can use if you ever find yourself confronted by an attacker.

The program is presented with tons of humor and you'll leave feeling like a stronger, more empowered person. Pete Andrews of AWMAS has graciously agreed to let me use his studio for free, and while there is no charge for the seminar itself, we will be collecting donations for Heroes Serving Humanity. For more information about the workshops check out: http://www.awmas1.com/page_latestnews.htm or www.girlsfightback.com. And call 336-992-5223 to sign-up. Call ASAP -- space is limited.

Also in the realm of violence prevention, from March 12th thru March 27th V-Day Greensboro will be presenting staged readings of Eve Ensler's "The Vagina Monologues" and "A Memory, A Monologue, A Rant, and A Prayer" at Open Space Cafe Theatre in Greensboro, NC. These very adult-oriented productions explore how our society affects the way women view their bodies and the way that violence impacts the lives of women around the globe. I'll be performing in "A Memory, A Monologue, A Rant, and A Prayer," so come check it out and say hi to me afterwards!

"The Vagina Monologues" performs March 11, 13, and 26 at 8pm. "A Memory, A Monologue, A Rant, A Prayer" performs March 12, 25, and 27 at 8pm. Tickets are $10 each and can be purchased at the door or make reservations by calling 336-687-1319. All proceeds go to The Sherri Denese Jackson Foundation in Greensboro NC.

I hope you'll join me for one of these powerful events!

Day Camp Directory Updated!

Yes, they're calling for snow this week. But even if it does snow, the fact that it's March, and April isn't far behind, means spring is just around the corner. And that means the time to start planning what your kids will do this summer is here. We've got what you need to make it easy, our Day Camp Directory has now been updated, and you can find it all right here online! It's the biggest directory we publish, thanks to the many great opportunities available around the Triad. Whether your child's interested in music, dance or sports, or you're just looking for a camp with basic, fun activities, you're sure to find something to fit your budget and schedule.

There are many great reasons to send your child to a summer camp, even just for a week or so. It helps build their self-esteem, teaches them new activities and introduces them to new friends, to name a few. For more information about camps and its benefits, visit the American Camp Association.

Popsicle Date

I had a date with Andrew on Saturday night. He and I went out to Hobby Lobby so I could get some silk flowers. As soon as we got in the door, he made a beeline to the displays of stuff they have by the cash registers and started begging me for a package of paintbrushes. I agreed to get it for him, but on the condition that it was the only thing I was going to get for him. For the next half-hour, we shopped fairly peacefully. He was as patient as he could be so I could figure out what kind of flowers I needed. He was so patient because he knew where we were going next: the dollar store to get ice cream! This is something we've never done. We've always gotten toys or art supplies, but never ice cream.

It was a nice feeling to walk up the sidewalk holding his hand and knowing that he was happy. We took our goodies home and ate them in the kitchen. Andrew's popsicle must have come from Antarctica, it was so cold. He had a few bites of my ice cream and said he liked mine better and would get one of those next time.

After he finished his popsicle, he asked for some hot tea to help him warm up. I made him a cup (decaf, of course) and he said it was too hot. Three ice cubes later, he was able to drink it.

Dear Reader, what's your simple pleasure with your children?

What a week

To be honest, I do not know what to blog about this week. It has been a doozie of a week for me. You know how those weeks are when nothing seems to go right? Your emotions are all out of wack? Your ex is late with child support, boss got upset with you, money has run out and you are scraping pennies to make ends meet for the week? That is how mine has been. I guess it is the weeks like this that make us stronger. I believe it once again shows us that as single moms we can do anything even when we do not think we can.

I certainly hope you have all had a better week then me, and let's look at the bright side, it is Friday!

Again, I am so thankful for my daughter and our kids give us the strength to get through the tough times.

Chess Championship this Weekend: Things we Can All Learn

The North Carolina Scholastic Chess Championship will be held this weekend in Greensboro. Kids from all over the state, as young as kindergarten, will be descending on our area to match skills and compete to see who's the best in the state. While most of us probably don't have kids competing, the event serves as a great inspiration. Chess is a game that's been researched for many years, and has proven benefits for kids, including improving math and reading skills, self esteem and imagination and accelerating the increase of IQ. It has a reputation of being complicated, but it turns out it's pretty easy to learn, and kids as young as 4 can play. If you're interested in getting your kids started playing chess, check out ChessDryad.com for great instructions for parents and kids.

Chess not your thing? Don't worry, just playing games with your children can do a lot of the same things playing a game of chess does.

Kids as young as 3 can start playing board games. Those old classics like Chutes and Ladders and Candyland teach so much, from counting and colors to learning how to take turns.

Older kids will enjoy games like Sorry and Uno. Based mostly on colors and counting, these games also start to teach strategy, which means kids are having to think ahead and do some planning in order to win.

And of course, the list continues. We have a lot of fun playing Monopoly, Scrabble and trivia games with our teenager and his friends. And you know what I think is the greatest benefit of all? Even more than the math skills, counting money, learning to take turns, figuring out strategy, is that playing a board game is one of the best ways to spend quality family time together. Forget about renting a bunch of dvds to get your family through the weekend. Try something different and pull out some old board games. You'll have a blast!

The Allure of Google Fiber

I have to admit, I'm a little behind the game on this Google Fiber thing. I didn't pay much attention at first when news broke that Greensboro is applying to be a test community. Did it really matter? But after a weekend where the 15 year old was gaming online on the PS3, I was trying to download tax updates on the laptop and the 5 year old was playing graphics-intensive games on the desktop, the thought of super high speed Internet became more appealing.

Do you have teenagers? New statistics show that 93 percent are online, 63 percent get online every day. And if you have kids not quite teens yet, you know they're online pretty often too. Internet, movies on demand and online gaming are becoming more of the norm in most families rather than the luxuries they used to be.

So maybe it would be in the best interests of our families if all of us parents got behind Greensboro's plea to be a test community. You can make your voice heard by taking part in this survey, and joining the Bring Google to Greensboro Facebook group.

The hope is that it will not only please our inpatient kids when it comes to online gaming and movies on demand, but that it will also help make Greensboro a more attractive place to live and for companies to come start business. Are you dreading the time when your child says, "I can't wait to get out of this boring town"? If Greensboro becomes a test market for Google fiber, maybe that sentence will never be uttered!

Will you let your kids ride in a Toyota?

Today the president of Toyota, Akio Toyoda, will take the stand in congressional hearings surrounding the company's recall. It's been a very dramatic news story, with the company coming out with a huge marketing program to reassure customers that the majority of their cars are still very safe and dealers being vocal about the fact they're getting the fixes made as fast as possible. But there's no denying the heartrending story of the family that died on the way to a soccer game.

Do you drive a Toyota? And do you now worry every time you get into the car with your kids? There are recalls all the time, for all sorts of different reasons, many of them not life or death. I drive a 2003 Jeep Liberty, which was recalled for a ball joint problem that turned out to be just a short visit to the dealer. I took it in an never thought about it again. Is this different, or is it just a witch hunt? It's hard to tell, but when it comes to the safety of our children, the questions take on even more meaning. My parents both drive Toyota Corollas, neither are the year that's been recalled, but I still cringe every time the kids get in the car with them. But are they any less safe than any time we buckle our kids into their car seats? Car accidents are the leading cause of unintentional death to kids and teens in the U.S. So even though we tend to take our cars for granted, we need to remember to be respectful of this transportation, stay alert and drive with caution every single time we get behind the wheel.

Do hot dogs need warning labels?

The news broke yesterday that the American Academy of Pediatricians is calling for warning labels on foods that can be considered a choking hazard for small children, especially the hot dog. It wasn't long before the story was picked up by the blogging world, and now opinions are flying on both sides. The popular Free Range Kids mom chimed in to say it's common sense just to cut up the foods. And I love the quote at the end of this USA Today article that says, do we really need to redesign junk food to make it easier for kids to eat? But for the 100 or so families who have experienced the tragedy of watching a child choke to death, it's not a laughing matter. Maybe better education is needed on the part of parents, knowing what foods you should cut up, and what ages you should be wary. But even that's hard. So much of it depends on the kid, and your own instincts are often the best way to go.

We all fall into the trap of thinking things will be okay, we'll just watch them every second. But I can tell you that's not easy to do, the green crayon makrings all up and down my stairwell from last night are proof of that. But what we can do is be prepared. Learn how to help your child if he's choking with these step by step instructions. Keep the number for poison control on your refrigerator: 1-800-222-1222. Put all your strings from your blinds up high where the kids can't reach. And try to have fun being a parent!

Chatterbox

At least once a day I find myself whispering the following prayer: Dear God, You know that I love how smart my daughter is and that I wouldn't change her for the world. You made her perfectly and I love everything about her. Except God, does she HAVE to talk so much? I mean, I'm not trying to be ungrateful and I know that she's healthy and happy, but God, couldn't I just have some peace and quiet just for a few minutes?

Of course the whole time I'm praying that little prayer, my daughter is in the background going "mommy, mommy, mommy, talk to Cassie, mommy, talk to Cassie."

She will ask me the same question 400 times like, "mommy where those birds goin'?" or "mommy what Porkchop (our neighbor's dog) doin'?" Today we were in the car heading to my mother's house. I've just recently taught her that green lights mean go and red lights mean stop. Well, every time that we would stop at a red light, she would yell, "Cassie wanna go!" at the top of her lungs. Finally, I turned around and said to her, "that's it, young lady, you cannot yell at mommy anymore. We will go when the light turns green. No more yelling." There were 15 blissful second of silence before she said, "Cassie yell at mommy. AAHHH! AHHHH! AAHHHH! Cassie yell at mommy! AAHHHH!"

My first reaction was to wonder if there aren't some occasions when it might be appropriate to tape a small child's mouth shut, but once I concluded that obviously that would be a horribly awful thing to do, all I could do was laugh. After all, it won't be long before she is a sulky teenager that refuses to talk to me at all, right?

New Research on Peanut Allergies

Do you have a kid with a peanut allergy? If you do, you're not alone. Food allergies are on the rise, with numbers increasing by 20% in the past 10 years. Today, news of a new research program provides some hope for parents of kids with peanut allergies. Doctors in Cambridge, England have launched the largest trial ever in a search for a cure, using small oral doses of peanuts to build up a tolerance. This type of desensitazation isn't new. It was tried in the 90s for peanut allergies, but it didn't work, doctors think because shots were used instead of oral doses. And recently research from Duke University found some success with a similar trial on egg allergies. Even if people allergic to peanuts build up a tolerance, it might never be safe for them to eat an entire jar of peanut butter. That's where research at NC A&T comes in, where they've created an allergen-free peanut.

A cure would be nice, but in the meantime, many parents are living with the constant dread and worry that comes with peanut allergies. Luckily there are a lot of great resources, including this web log, Parenting a Child with Food Allergies. Something I thought was even better was this Web site for kids with food allergies, FAANKids.org. It's got great activities, stories and information to help kids deal with their allergies.

Good Eats

The boys and I spent the weekend with Auntie A visiting my mom. My mom cooks differently than I do, but the boys have seen all of the food before. However, Benjamin had to be coaxed and cajoled into trying everything but waffles and peanut butter sandwiches!

He tried strawberries and made a face! (Sometimes I think he might not by my child, because those berries were "in season" somewhere.) We got him to eat some roasted chicken for supper by dipping it in honey.

On Sunday, we actually made two meals for lunch. The one for the boys was of spam, craisins, strawberries, and corn off the cob. Benjamin wouldn't touch the corn until I fed him a tiny bite. Then he loved it. The one for my mom, sister, and I was corn, shrimp, and salad. We ate while the boys napped. It reminded me of when my mom used to feed Adrienne and me fish sticks while she and my dad ate steaks.

Bill grilled tuna steaks and zucchini for supper last night. He and I also had baked potatoes while the boys enjoyed homemade hash browns. (Neither of the boys eat baked or mashed potatoes.) Benjamin wouldn't eat the tuna on his plate until Andrew let him sample his. Again, he loved it! I think both servings may have been from the same piece of fish.

Dear Reader, do you have a picky eater? What do you do to get them to try something new?

Get the Legos out and Play

This weekend, the Lego League is holding their annual competition at the Greensboro Coliseum. Being part of a Lego League sounds like fun, and I had no idea it was so serious to afford its own competition. I've been a big fan of Legos for a long time. I loved playing with them with my brother when we were kids, and as a young adult I did some research into the company and learned just how impressive their philosophies are. Legos were invented to encourage free play in kids, something that's important for helping build problem solving skills, encouraging creativity and helping teach self control. Can playing with Legos do all of that? It might seem like it's asking a lot, but apparently it works, since the Lego League's purpose it to help kids ages 9-14 learn that real-world problems can be solved using math and science, in some fun ways.

If your kids are in that age group, check out the NC First Web site, and the Lego League information, to find a group in your area. If your kids are younger, go ahead and buy them some Legos. The Web site has lots of great information on what products are good for which age and why. Dump them out and walk away. This is a time to let your kids' imaginations soar, without an adult telling them how to make things.

Forever Plaid at Theatre Alliance

I got a chance to sneak into a sold-out, standing room only performance of "Forever Plaid" at Theatre Alliance this past weekend and simply had to recommend it. The show features some of the finest male talent the triad has to offer and the music includes several songs you'll want to sing along with.

"One of the most popular and successful musicals in recent memory, this deliciously goofy revue centers on four young, eager male singers killed in a car crash in the 1950s on the way to their first big concert, and now miraculously revived for the posthumous chance to fulfill their dreams and perform the show that never was. Singing in the closest of harmony, squabbling boyishly over the smallest intonations and executing their charmingly outlandish choreography with over-zealous precision, the "Plaids" are a guaranteed smash, with a program of beloved songs and delightful patter that keeps audiences rolling in the aisles when they're not humming along to some of the great nostalgic pop hits of the '50s." - I couldn't say it any better.

While not a "kids' show," this show could be appealing to your little ones if they are old enough to sit still for 90 minutes, BUT I would recommend getting a babysitter and treating your mom or dad to this wonderfully fun show. They are sure to know the music, and let's face it, when was the last time you spent some quality time with your folks?

Here are the remaining show dates: Thursday, February 18, 2010 at 8 pm Friday, February 19, 8 pm - WALK-UPS ONLY! Saturday, February 20, 8 pm - WALK-UPS ONLY! Sunday, February 21, 2 pm Thursday, February 25, 8 pm, Friday, February 26, 8 pm, Saturday, February 27, 4 pm, Saturday, February 27, 8 pm, Sunday, February 28, 2 pm. Check out http://www.wstheatrealliance.org// to order your tickets online!

How Healthy is Your County?

Piedmont Parent's readership encompasses the Triad area, which is a lot of counties. And even though in some ways we all have a lot in common, a healthcare study released this week by the Robert Wood Johnson Foundation shows there are still some big differences in lifestyle in the area. Guilford County proudly ranked 10th of NC's 100 counties, while Forsyth came in lower at 20th. Click here for the whole state's map.The study looked at a variety of factors, including access to healthcare, obesity and smoking rates and socioeconomic factors.

Overall, the study is very interesting. As parents, we want to make sure we're raising our families in an area where good-quality healthcare is readily available. But how much does the difference between 10th and 20th really means when it comes to how healthy your own family is? We're lucky in all areas of the Triad that good hospitals and doctors are very close by. The new state law banning smoking in restaurants is just one step further in keeping our kids away from the dangers of secondhand smoke. And the many different Y's, parks and swimming pools provide ample opportunity for our kids to stay active. Whether you live in Greensboro, Winston-Salem, or out in the county, we live in an area where it's pretty easy to stay healthy. The next step is encouraging healthy habits in your home!

An-rew

I've decided that Benjamin's early potty success is coming from his desire to be like his big brother. Andrew poops in the big potty, so Benjamin is going to poop there as well. Last night, he tried so hard and we didn't get anything; he was so frustrated. It took a naked baby dance to get him off the potty and cheered up. (Sorry for all the poop talk. I know it will embarrass him when he's older. Oh, well.)

Benjamin has his own way of doing things, but I think it's Andrew who gives him the extra little feeling of security in his little world that makes life a tiny bit easier. For example, last night Andrew was at his grandparents' house. Benjamin was here and did not want to take a bath. He pitched a fit! I think if Andrew were here, bath time would have gone a little smoother.

Also, Andrew is the one who really likes to play outside. Benjamin is content to stay inside with his cars. When Andrew wants to go outside, Benjamin will take two handfuls of cars and go outside, too. The boys have a brotherly bond that I hope will keep them close. When Benjamin wakes up, I know he'll ask, "Where's An-rew?" When Andrew arrives home this afternoon, the first thing he'll want to know is, "Where's Benjamin?" Each of them enjoy having the spotlight to himself, but they are happiest when they are together.

Olympics Edition

Are you watching the Olympics with your kids? This might be a great year to get excited about the winter games, since we actually have some snow lingering around our neighborhoods and can relate, somewhat. It's not like luging and curling are big sports here in the South. But thanks to the ski slopes in our mountains and the great hockey by the Hurricanes, there is some interest growing. I think it's fun to watch with your kids, see all the atheletes from other countries, learn about other cultures and get excited about cheering for people we otherwise never would have heard of. It can also be a great learning opportunity!

Check out the official Vancouver 2010 site for a complete rundown of the medal count, information on the different sports, news and other cool stuff, including games with those cute little mascots!

NBC also has a great site, which of course is the place to find TV schedules, but also the latest news coming out of the Olympics and bios of the different atheletes.

Get involved in the Olympics by learning a little about the history:
History of the Olympics and modern-day Olympics.
History and culture of Vancouver
Crafts, activities and games on Kaboose

What does parenthood mean to you?

If I had to list my top ten favorite movies of all time, Parenthood would definitely be on it, as high up as number 2 (right below the Sound of Music). It might not be an Oscar-winning film, or have the classic tones of something like Casablanca, but there's just something about it that endears itself to me. With so many different family structures within one family, almost everyone can relate. And who can beat the roller coaster metaphor at the end? I have to say, because I love the movie so much, I'm looking forward to the new TV show on NBC of the same name with slight trepidation. But something the show is doing has impressed me. They're asking the public, "What does parenthood mean to you?" in their Parenthood Project. Submit your answer, via text, photo or video, and a $20 donation will be made to the Boys & Girls Clubs of America's Family Strengthening Initiative. This is a fun exercise, it makes you think about your own family and how your life's changed since having children. And at the same time, you get to help out a great program!

My Funny Valentine

This year's Valentine's Day was a hard one for me. My husband and I are separated. We had planned to separate before Christmas, but decided to tough it out through the holiday. Now it has been over a month since I moved into my mom's and started thinking about the next step of my life.

Obviously, there are a million reasons why this happened and I have barely been able to communicate those things to my friends and family, let alone figure out how to explain them to the blogosphere. So, I won't try to explain or justify myself, I'll just tell you about my day.

I got up on Valentine's morning and went straight to see Cassie, who was spending the day with her dad. I brought her a little gift from myself and one from my mom and she said "Happy Valentine's Day, mommy." Over and over again. Which is an accomplishment. We were able to teach her to say "Happy Halloween," but when Thanksgiving came around, she wouldn't say "Happy Thanksgiving." Instead she said, "Thanks for coming." At Christmas time, she discovered that she got big laughs for saying "Happy Halloween" instead of "Merry Christmas." So, this is the first holiday since Halloween that we've actually gotten her to say the right thing.

And then she left.

Jeff took her to Charlotte for the day to spend time with his family there and I worked. I worked all day to keep my mind off of what I was missing out on. I went to rehearsal for Ring of Fire (we open this coming Saturday at the Barn Dinner Theatre) and I came home. I called throughout the day to check on her, but since those calls were accompanied by the usual drama that plays out between me and my soon-to-be ex-husband right now, they hardly satisfied the need I had to communicate my vast love for this little creature that will forever bind me to the man I once promised to love until I died.

I started to really feel sad for myself, but then I got home to my mom's and headed to bed. There, lying on my pillow, was a gift from my mother. And I'll tell you right now, no man could have bought me a more perfect gift. There was a season 1 DVD of my favorite TV show, Glee, a bottle of wine, and a box of Girl Scout cookies.

My mother has always given me a valentine. She's been there for every V-day whether I had a guy in my life or not. I guess I realized that while life may not be the way I pictured or planned it, I have people who love me, and even more than that, I have someone who needs my love. And maybe someday in the far distant future, my daughter will find herself heartbroken on Valentine's Day needing someone to love her. I just hope that if that day ever comes, I can find the perfect way to put a smile on her face just the way my mother did for me.

Grandparents and Obesity

Yesterday we ate potluck lunch at church. There was a kid's table, and my 5 year old got to enjoy some indpendence and eat with other kids, instead of her parents. But halfway through she came up and told me it wasn't fair, another kid was getting to eat 3 desserts, and she only was getting one. Now, I know part of the fun of church suppers is tasting a little of everything, but I thought one big brownie with whipped cream on top was enough. And the other girl's grandmother had given 3 desserts as a bribe for eating a bite of pasta salad. One example doesn't make scientific research, but I couldn't help but find it interesting that the first thing I saw in the news this morning was new research out of London that found kids cared for at least part-time by grandparents had a 15% higher risk of obesity than their peers.

Let's just say, I didn't find this surprising. We're lucky enough to live close to my parents, so my kids see them a lot. And every time, there's chocolate milk, cream puffs, pudding cups, Cheetos and all sorts of "special treats" that they don't get every day at home. I always figured it was okay, aren't grandparents supposed to spoil their grandkids? But this new research sheds a light on the fact that sometimes those special treats might turn into a regular habit, especially for kids who spend a lot of time at grandma's house. Definitely something to keep in mind with our nation's worries about childhood obesity and the medical problems it causes.

I'm a firm believer in dessert. I even plan my meal around it, sometimes. But I hope to teach my kids good, healthy eating habits, and part of that means eating sweets in moderation. There's nothing wrong with indulging now and then, but it only works if it's not an all-the-time occurance.

So what do you do for these hungry kids and their sweet tooth? Maybe there are some healthier alternatives to try, like Yoplait's Trix yogurt, which is fun to eat and has less sugar than the regular yogurt. Switch out chips and cookies for healthy snacks like fruit and trail mix. For some other options check out these Healthy Snacks for Kids.

I Made This For You

I had a whole bunch of things I could write about for today: seeing the clowns at the Greensboro Children's Museum, all the cool things I found at the Wee Runs Consignment Sale, lovely homemade Valentines, Bill taking Andrew to the circus. But I won't. I have bigger news from our house. Benjamin pooped in the big potty last night! I am so proud of him! Y'all have a great week!

Love

How do you find yourself feeling about love as a single mom? Some of you may have had a breakup or divorce that was not so bad, but then there are others who have been very hurt. Maybe there was cheating involved or lies, or maybe there were other reasons that were hurtful to you.

As such, how do we teach our children about true love? Do you find that hard? I do as a single parent. My breakup was especially hurtful and it has caused me to be very fickle about love. I try to dwell on the love of a family and love of mom and daughter. I think we should not be so negative in talking about love to our kids. Love can be a wonderful part of our lives and I know we all hope that our children will find the true love that is honest and lasts forever.

I hope you all have a wonderful Valentines Day with whoever is in your life as well as with your children who keeps us going through every day!

What is a Magnet School?

This weekend, Guilford County Schools is holding their magent fair, Saturday morning at the Greensboro Coliseum. It's a great opportunity to visit, meet some teachers and find out how much the magnet program has to offer. Can't make it? Don't worry. They have a great publication, all electronically available, that explains it all in depth. So what exactly is a magnet school? They're public schools that concentrate studies around a theme. Because of the special setup, kids are able to go to one of them out of their regular school district, by filling out an application. Guilford County has 44 magnet schools, and Winston-Salem Forsyth County Schools has15 programs. Their application process is already closed, but if you submit an application now you can be added to a waiting list.

Magnet schools offer a way for kids to explore academic or cultural studies beyond what a regular public school curriculum provides, in an atmosphere where the teachers and students are all excited about what they're learning. From language immersion programs to science and technology, there are a wide variety of options available.

Magnet schools are just one option for parents looking for something different than the mainline public school curriculum. There are also a lot of private schools in our area that offer programs fitting a variety of needs for families and their kids. Check out our updated Private School directory to learn more. Not ready for big school yet? Preschool registration is well underway right now, and you can learn more about choices available at our Preschool Directory.

Asperger's No Longer Separate, Maybe

The APA has been hard at work on the newest revision of the DSM, and some of the proposed changes have peaked the interest of parents. Just yesterday news outlets picked up on the proposal to drop Asperger's as a separate diagnosis and include it in the Autism Spectrum Disorder. The proposal has gotten mixed reviews. Some adults with the diagnosis aren't happy. They've liked being separate from autism, and the sort of respect it comes with. But on the other hand, in states that provide help only for children diagnosed with autism, this would break down many barriers parents face. What do you think? The public gets an opportunity to share their opinions with the APA until April 20, right here. Even that is controversial. Claming that these decisions and revisions are all based on years of science, how will public comments be taken? Will they end up making a difference at all?

It's interesting to see what's being added, or dropped. Things like hoarding and Internet addiction are new. And there's a campaign to get Parental Alienation Syndrome added. What do you think about the new revisions? Is it about time, or is it too much change?

Odds and Ends

Andrew LOVES his new bed! When he saw it for the first time, made up with the bedding he had chosen, he actually gasped with delight and said Bill and I were "the bestest mommy and the bestest daddy!" Yay!

Benjamin is doing okay in the toddler bed. I think he misses his crib a little, but he is blessed with the ability to sleep soundly just about anywhere. He'll be okay.

One thing that both the boys like to do is wake people up. Every morning, one of them asks if he can wake up Daddy. I usually try to wait as long as possible before giving them my consent. Sometimes it works and sometimes they just can't wait.

We had a quick trip to Statesville to visit my mom this week. One day, all of us took naps. I woke up first, then Benjamin woke up and asked if he could wake up BG who was asleep on the sofa. I told him to wake her up with a smooch. He got right next to her and yelled, "WAKE UP!!!" It's hard to wake up my mom, but he made it look easy!

Along with his bed, Andrew talked Bill into buying him a little guitar. He'd gotten one for Christmas from Auntie A that didn't last until the end of December and had been bugging Bill for one ever since. He likes to strum it and make up songs as if he were Gene Autry. I don't know anything about playing a guitar, but I have a feeling I'm going to learn in the near future.

Auntie A is coming in this afternoon to stay with the boys while I'm helping host a baby shower. I've talked to the mom-to-be and tried to impart some of the stuff I've learned from becoming a parent. There seems to be so much that is universal, but there's also so much that is only specific to a single child. She'll figure it out or muddle through, like we all do.

Campassion for Haiti: What we Can Learn from our Kids

The images that bombarded us in the days after the Haitian earthquake were devastating. But admit it, as adults we tend to be able to compartmentalize things like that. But for our kids, who are probably seeing human pain and suffering up close for the first time, the impact is great. Major news media no longer has Haiti in its headlines, we've moved on to snowstorms and the Olympics. But the people of Haiti still need us, now more than ever, and it's our children who continue to remind us of this. Students at Our Lady of Mercy School in Winston-Salem are collecting change throughout the month of February in order to help with the relief efforts in our neighboring country. The campaign started off with a raffle for a Family Fun Night basket, and the kids raised an amazing $574 with that.

There are also other ways to send help to the people of Haiti. Here are a few in our area:
The Red Cross of Northwest North Carolina is accepting donations, and has a nice list of what your money can buy for the people of Haiti. For example, $25 will buy a cooking kit for a family of 5.

The Volunteer Center of Greensboro has a Heart for Haiti campaign.

The Community Foundation of Greensboro has a list of other ways to donate.

Send the kids out to play

I know, I know. It's cold, rainy and the ground's a soggy mess. But it turns out unstructured playtime is great for kids, for more than just the reason that it gives them a chance to use their imagination--it's also a key ingredient in fighting childhood obesity. This weekend Time Magazine published an article that said fighting childhood obesity is as easy as three simple steps: a nutritious diet, less than 2 hours of TV a day and a good night's sleep. But there's one more thing that you can add to that equation, and that's unstructured free play time. Not just exercise, or making sure your kids are involved in organized sports, but making sure there's time in their day to just be active and do what kids do best--play. The Alliance for Childhood has come out as a proponent for more free play for kids, and gives plenty of resources to help encourage it.

It all sounds simple, but as parents we know how hard these few things can be. Eathing healthy is hard when you're family is on the run, getting home from work late, shuttling kids back and forth to extracurricular activities. It's hard to sit down to a healthy meal. But there are ways to help make it easier. Pull out some of your mom's great crock pot recipes, and have grapes and cut up oranges available for snacking rather than chips and cookies. For help with creating a healthy diet for your kids visit the Food Pyramid for kids and preschoolers.

Monitor the amount of time your kids are in front of a screen, whether it's the TV or the computer. Less screen time automatically allows for more play time. Are you now stuck with kids whining that there's nothing to do? Just walk away and let them figure it out. They will eventually. One thing that experts have learned is that due to less playtime in the neighborhoods, the games we played as kids aren't getting passed down. Share some of the old favorites with your kids, once the ground dries out and it gets a little warmer. In the meantime, free play in the house is a good alternative.

One of my favorite articles in this month's Piedmont Parent is "Kids who March to the Beat of a Different Drummer." The girl begs her mom not to make her play baseball, because she wants time to just play. It's a wake up call for me, and probably many of us parents. Kids are born knowing how to play. Take a few three year olds to the park and you'll see that. They run around free as birds without a care in the world. Do we take that away from them, with our fears of letting them play outside by themselves and our constant need to keep them busy with structured days? Maybe one key to fighting childhood obesity is to be more aware of our role as parents, and step back from the playtime control a little bit.

God of Carnage

My recent trip to NYC yielded me an opportunity to catch up with old friends, a chance to see some new shows, and a rather unfortunate red tone to my new hair color. I don't hate it, but I feel sort of like the little red haired girl in the Peanuts comic strip.

One of the shows I saw was called "God of Carnage," and it currently stars Annie Potts, Jimmy Smits, Ken Stott, and Christine Lahti. The over arching theme of the show has to do with our social boundaries and how underneath the layer of propriety that we present to the world is a more base, animal instinct that may show itself in ways that we consider inappropriate.

But aside from the deep meaning of the show, the premise struck me as something interesting for parents to think about. The show opens on these four characters. Two of which are the parents of a little boy who has been the victim of a school yard fight that resulted in a swollen lip and some missing teeth. The other two are the parents of the little boy who wielded the stick that brought about those injuries.

Through the course of the play, they attempt to discuss what happened rationally, but before long they are throwing things, drinking rum straight from a bottle and even throwing up--yes, throwing up right on stage. I think any parent can relate to the situation. Surely, most of us have experienced another child hurting our little one. I personally see that just about every time we go to the play area at Hanes Mall. And most of us can probably remember a time when our darling little angel inflicted some level of pain on another child. (Just check out the post that started this blog to read about my experience with that.)

In either situation, we fight the urge to parent someone else's child. In an interview on BroadwayWorld.com, Jeff Daniels (who opened the show on Broadway) talked about a conversation with his wife where he asked her to call another parent and tell her "if I want her advice on parenting I'll ask her for it." Haven't we all been there? Is there ever a time where telling another parent what to do is appropriate or even necessary? Have you ever received unsolicited advice from another parent that was actually helpful? After seeing this show, I can definitely say that I'll be more likely to keep my mouth shut the next time I feel the urge to lecture another parent. I really don't want them to throw up on me, afterall.

Super Bowl, Super Companies

It's Monday after the Super Bowl. Forget Snowmageddon, the talk today is all about Indianapolis kids going to school late, that amazing onsides kick, and of course, the commercials. One that stuck out for me was CareerBuilder.com's commercial with a bunch of people in their underwear for casual Friday. Maybe because it was on while my small children were up and still watching, and the half-naked bodies were slightly disturbing. But like all of their commericials, most of us can usually relate, we've all worked in places where we're just not happy. But sometimes, we're lucky enough to work in a place where we actually enjoy getting up every day and going to our office. If that's you, then nominate your company for this year's Family-Friendly 50 awards.

Each year, Carolina Parenting, Inc. recognizes 50 companies throughout the state of North Carolina that promote family-friendly values at their workplace, whether it's through flex-time options, great maternity leave benefits or just a comfortable work environment for parents. Visit our Family Friendly resource page for a list of last year's winners, links to articles on some of the ways local companies are helping their employees create a better work/family balance and articles explaining some of the national trends. And don't forget, nominate your own company! We want to make sure the Piedmont is well represented in this year's competition.

New Bed!

Did you know they don't make drop-side cribs anymore? I found this out the hard way: part of the sliding piece on Benjamin's crib broke off Friday afternoon! I called Babies R' Us and was informed that not only do they no longer make drop-side cribs, they don't even have replacement pieces for them. Luckily, we had a camp cot we could unfold for Benjamin to sleep on. (Even more luckily, he actually slept on it!)

So, after mulling over our options, Bill and I decided to buy a twin bed for Andrew and move Benjamin into the toddler bed. We're calling the toddler bed a "big boy bed" and the twin a "bigger boy bed."

When picking out sheets for his bed, Andrew liked everything. He finally settled on some with a sports motif. I'm writing this on Sunday afternoon, in anticipation of how the boys will spend the first night in their new sleeping arrangements. Both beds have freshly laundered sheets on them, as well as the special blankets that help the boys ease into dreamland. I hope both of them will have sweet dreams, so I can, too.

Celebrating Black History Month

With all the snow we've had, school out, Valentine's Day stuff and the Super Bowl, it's easy to forget that February is Black History Month. But the history of this country we live in is rich in so many ways, and taking the time to look at the horrible atrocities of slavery, the great inspiration of jazz and so many other contributions by black people throughout America's history should take more than just a month. We're looking at another weekend snowed in, so it's a great time to explore some of the good Web sites and watch some movies with your kids in honor of the month.
The History Channel is a great resource, with an interactive timeline, videos to watch and games to play.
It's sister channel, Biography, has videos of important people in Black History that you can watch right online.
Teacher Vision is a great resource for kids of all ages, with printables, language arts activities, history resources and much more.
For a little less heavy rendition of Black History, check out some of the great movies that help kids today see what things were like in the past. One of my more recent favorites is Remember the Titans. Find more, like the Color Purple and Guess Who's Coming to Dinner, on PowertoLearn.com.

Weight issues

I have put on some weight and like some folks I decided to join a gym to try to lose and get in the exercise I know would be good for me. I joined the Y, and therefore have access to the pools and a lot of great classes as well.

I have made the decision to take my daughter with me as often as possible (more so in the summer) and include her in the classes I take. Is this going too far? My daughter is already overweight for her age and gets very little exercise. She just does not want to do anything. She is in dance classes with a friend and enjoys the social aspect, but dreads the exercise part.

I felt that it would help her to go to some water aerobic classes with me and maybe even some yoga. I feel this will be good for us to do it together as well as for her overall well-being and mine too!

A healthy diet vs. a lose-weight diet

It's a known fact that we have a problem with childhood obesity in our country. And childhood obesity can lead to many health problems, including type 2 diabetes, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, and early onset of puberty in boys. Which makes First Lady Michelle Obama's focus on the issue so important. She has made it one of the priorities of her time in the White House, and this week started meetings to get things organized. She also brought the issue to light in a very public way with her extensive interview with Matt Lauer on the Today Show. But now she's coming under fire for what she said, bringing publicity to her obesity campaign in a way she probably didn't expect. She helped make the issue personal by talking about how her children's pediatrician gave her a wake up call when he said their BMI was borderline, and that she should start watching things more.

Guess what, that innocent comment sparked a firestorm of debate, like this example, "what the eating disorder world wants Michelle Obama to know." Did she cross a line? She explained further to say that some of the things she did was to make more colorful vegetables for dinner, put water in their lunchboxes and limit TV watching. To me, that doesn't sound like putting her kids on a lose-weight diet, but rather just trying to teach healthy habits.

It's a hard thing, being a parent in this day and age. Body image is so important to girls at a younger and younger age. One off-hand remark can spark an eating disorder. But isn't it also a parent's job to help your kids learn to eat right? Maybe the important thing is to remember to keep a healthy attitude about weight, focus on healthy eating habits, and set a good example yourself. For ideas on how to eat right for you, check out our Women's Health page.

Another Disguise

Bill said the other night he was talking to Andrew at bedtime and Andrew had a lot to say. He told Bill he'd been thinking of another way to catch the chocolate thief at Bill's work. (Last fall, Bill told Andrew that someone had taken a whole lot of chocolate out of the communal candy dish. Andrew thinks this is the most fascinating story ever.)

Andrew�s newest plan is to "get some big nets on sticks" and put out a pile of chocolate. "Then," said Andrew, "we'll disguise ourselves as badgers."
"Gophers?" asked Bill. "Why would we dress up as gophers?"
"So, the chocolate thief won't recognize us!"

Please don't tell the chocolate thief about this. I don't want to blow their cover!

Giving Opportunities

A lot of kids are still at home due to poor road conditions today, which might just be a perfect opportunity to go through your bookshelves. The Winston-Salem Symphony is celebrating the 50th anniversary of the Mary Starling In-School Education Program with a one-of-its-kind book drive. By partnering with the WS/Forsyth County Schools, the symphony is hoping to collect 43,000 for the African Library Project, which will send the books to kids who need them in Botswana. It's a great project, and easy to do. If your kids don't go to one of the 43 system schools, you can make a donation through the symphony. Giving books is just one way to help your kids help others, there are plenty of others, both abroad and closer to home.

The earthquake in Haiti might have fallen off our radar a bit, but there is still great need in that nation, and you can help by sending funds through the American Red Cross. The Volunteer Center of Greensboro has also started its own Heart for Haiti project.

And don't forget that close to home, food bank shelves are getting low on supplies this time of year. Let your kids pick out a few extra cans of food or dry cereal and make a donation, it will be greatly appreciated. Contact Greensboro Urban Ministries or the Second Harvest Foodbank for details on how to donate.

Not Six More Weeks of This Stuff!

Happy Groundhog Day. Or is it? I love winter, and I've begged for a good snow for the past 5 years. But now that we're in the middle of being snowed in/out of school, and looking at possibly another storm this weekend, I'm ready for an early spring. This morning, Punxsutawney Phil saw his shadow in Pennsylvania and predicted another 6 weeks of winter. Don't want to leave our weather predictions up to a groundhog in PA? There are a couple of local predictors right here in the Triad. Woody the Groundhog will be making his prediction at the Natural Science Center, and Lil' Bit, the potbellied pig, will make a prediction in Lexington.

In the meantime, whether we're in for an early spring or more snow, the kids are home again and the rain makes it even more of an inside day. Find some ways to celebrate Groundhog Day at these sites:

Enchanted Learning: Easy crafts

Apples4theTeachers: Crafts and printables

Wilstar.com: Groundhog Day facts

Getting back to my roots

As a southern girl born and bred in North Carolina, I spent a lot of my childhood listening to country music. And as a teenager I spent a lot of time listening to anything BUT country music. I mean, no one wants to listen to the kind of music their parents like and I was no exception. For years, anytime I filled out a survey that asked what my favorite type of music was I wrote, "anything but country." Oh sure, there would be the occasional crossover song that I would listen to, but when I turn the dial on my radio (as if radios still had dials) I skip quickly past anything with a twang to it.

Enter my latest theatre endeavor. I'm currently in rehearsals for "Ring of Fire: the Johnny Cash Musical" at the Barn Dinner Theatre and man, I am LOVIN' this music. Listening to it and learning to sing it, play it, dance to it has really got me thinking about how easily we dismiss things without really giving them a shot. If I heard this music on the radio a week or two ago, I wouldn't have even stopped to consider it, but now that I've had some time to get familiar with it, I can hear the poetry of the lyrics and appreciate the complexity of the melodies.

Another journey back to my roots hasn't been quite so pleasant. When I was pregnant with Cassie, my OB was very careful, very cautious and I heeded every rule. I ate no deli meat, no sushi and I avoided microwaves. But the hardest thing I gave up was getting my hair highlighted. Since I was 15, I've been paying those big bucks to make that mousy blond bob you see pictured above shine with golden streaks, but my doctor said, "better safe than sorry." So, I stopped getting my hair highlighted and when everything was said and done, my natural color appeared. And man, I hate it. I miss looking in the mirror and seeing that golden blond color. I hate when people look at my driver's license and comment on the difference. I hate when people don't easily identify my color as blond. I've even had someone say that my hair was red! Sure, I love red hair, but it isn't MY color--not how I identify myself.

Of course, I've not gone back because I've realized how much money I spend on it and just cant justify that expense with Cassie at home. If we are going to blow more than $100 on something, surely it will be something for her, right? And honestly, shouldn't I be encouraging her to embrace who she is naturally? At least that was my argument.

But this week, I take a trip up to my old home in NYC where I can visit my old friends at Redken (who I used to model for) and get a free color! So booya, roots! I'll be a blond again by the weekend! I guess some things that we dismiss from our childhood deserve a second look, but when all is said and done, staying true to yourself may mean a trip to the salon!

You can see "Ring of Fire: the Johnny Cash Musical" at the Barn Dinner Theatre February 20th through May 31st. Check out www.barndinner.com for details.

The Greensboro Four: Inspiring a Movement

Today we celebrate the grand opening of the International Civil Rights Museum. The event is surrounded by plenty of pomp and circumstance, and it's well deserved. We've waited for years for this big moment, and the ability to see the exhibits and learn about the movements first hand will be so important for our kids. Segregation and the atrocities that came with it are so foreign to them, but racism often rears its ugly head even today, and remembering these events and the people who stood up for equal rights is a great way to help educate future generations. It's also a great opportunity for kids to see that even as one person, your actions can make a difference. The four men of the Greensboro Four were just college students with an idea, and within a week the sit-in movement had taken hold across the South.

The museum is sure to become a staple of field trip destinations for our kids. But don't let this be one they go to with their teacher and a few chaperones and call it done. Take the time to go with them, visit as a family, and be there to have the conversations that are sure to arise as you look at the original Woolworth's counter and see exhibits like the school room from the 1950s.

The Budding Artists

When Andrew was two, Auntie A gave him an easel (at my suggestion). I was expecting a hinged plastic thing with a chalkboard side and a side for painting. The one he got was from Melissa & Doug and it has 76 pieces of wood, plastic, and metal, as well as a side for chalk and a side for painting.

Once I assembled it, it was brought out occasionally, when I was in the mood for a mess. Lately, though, Andrew has really grown to like painting and the easel has been made more accessible. He's still in the mostly lines and blobs stage, but the stories behind them are fascinating. He said one painting was "a man playing the harp for the queen." I didn't see it, but I'm glad he did!

Benjamin paints as well, but he likes to use his hands as well as brushes. I'm looking forward to letting him paint outside when the weather is warm.

Andrew also has created some interesting "sculptures." He loves to use tape and staples in conjunction with construction paper. He's made a "mobile" for Papa involving several sheets of paper and a lot of tape. Last week, he rolled a piece of paper into a tube, stapled it, and then stapled wings he had cut out onto it. When I asked, he said, "It's a bird, Mom."

Both the boys like to go to "Red, Yellow, Blue" at the Hemphill Library. It's free art program at 10 a.m. on Fridays. Ms. V., the lady who leads it, has been teaching art to children for years and paces the time well. The boys have made apple prints, finger painted, worked with clay, made leaf rubbings, and used stamps with paint in this program. It's been interesting to see Andrew's artistic skills bloom. He likes to do things his own way and art helps him satisfy this need. Benjamin is learning fun ways to create. I'm along for the ride, remembering that it's the process, not the product, that's important.

Let it Snow, Again!

It looks like we're in for some more snowy fun this weekend! For years we haven't had much snow in the winter, and now we're getting a double dose, and who knows what else the future might hold. Lanie Pope said we might be stuck in for a couple of days, thanks to the cold weather, so you might as well make the most of it. Check out our Snow Days page for instructions on how to build a snow fort, great snow day recipes and other activities. Wondering why everyone stocks up on milk and bread right before a snowstorm? On Triadmommies the theory is it's because you need a lot of milk to make snowcream!

It's interesting that yesterday, just one day before our second big snowfall of the winter, an article in the Washington Post warns that the harsh winter doesn't mean there's no global warming, it's just one more sign that we're experiencing climate change. The climate is certainly something up for debate. Is this a harsher winter than normal? Or just colder than the last few years? I've lived in the Piedmont since I was 12, and I remember quite a few big snows in the late 80s and early 90s. It's hard to know what's going on with the climate. It's such a large subject to deal with no matter who you are. But we all want the best for our children, and that includes safe weather and good air to beathe. So do what you can to reduce your carbon footprint, and keep voting for politicians who make the environment a priority. And in the meantime, enjoy playing in the snow with your kids this weekend! There's nothing better for taking your mind off all the worries of adulthood than making a few snow angels.

-- Karen Alley, Web Editor

How do you spell hilarity?

I had the awesome opportunity to attend a recent dress rehearsal for the latest offering by Twin City Stages (formerly known as the Little Theatre of Winston-Salem) and simply had to put in a plug.

The show is called "The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee" and it is a sure winner! I saw the show on Broadway years ago, so my expectations were high for this community theatre production. It did not disappoint!

The show revolves around 6 young people each vying for the title of Spelling Bee Champion and the chance to represent Putnam County at the National Spelling Bee in Washington, DC. Through song, dance, and refreshingly adolescent but sophisticated humor, you will grow to love these adorable spelling dorks. The characters are broad and range from William Barfee (its pronounced Barfay) and his magic spelling foot to Logan Schwartzengrubeyere and the pressure she feels from her two dads.

While the focus is on the kids, the adult roles shine as well. Perhaps the finest performance of a terrific cast is given by the actor playing Mitch Mahoney, a thug serving his prison work release as "Comfort Counselor" of the Bee. Not only can you fall in love with the characters, but the show offers an interactive opportunity for 4 audience members to show off their spelling skills. If you are the parent of a pre-teen or young teen, you won't want to miss this peek into the insecurities of adolesence although I wouldn't recommend the show for those younger than 13. The language of the show has been cleaned up significantly, but one particular song referencing the physical difficulties of being a hormonal teenage boy may leave some parents squirming in their seats.

The show runs the next two weekends. Get tickets by calling 336-725-4001 or check out http://www.twincitystage.org/.

H1N1 Not Over Yet

The waves of kids out of school due to flu and the news reports of outbreaks on college campuses have seemed to die down. But health officials say it's not the time to get complacent about the swine flu. The Secretary of Health and Human Services is urging people to take advantage of the vaccine. We often see a dip in cases of flu in January, only to hit a rise in February and March. It's hard to predict, and even experts are divided about whether we'll experience another big wave of the H1N1 virus. But no one can predict the future, and one thing that's certain is this flu strain is more deadly for young children than the seasonal flu virus. It's not too late to get your kids vaccinated, and now there is plenty of the vaccine available. Here are a few options for getting your vaccine:

Guilford County Health Department

Forsyth County Health Department

CVS Clinics

Walgreens: every location offers the vaccine for $18

North Carolina Flu Shot Finder

Also, call your child's doctor. They might have the vaccine, and if your insurance covers it you might not have to pay anything.

One Million Books

Tonight President Obama will be giving his State of the Union address. But last night something almost as important for parents occurred in Guilford County, when Superintendent "Mo" Green presented his State of our Schools address. Overall it was a very positive speech, designed to keep parents and kids motivated to succed. In the past year the schools have met or made progress in 19 of 24 goals set out in the strategic plan. It was also a time to launch new initiatives, including the character development program that will teach 7 character traits to our kids in school, and the one that caught my attention, the One Million Books campaign. The superintendent is asking all the students to read more at home and at school, to collectively read one million books in the coming year. The goals of this program are to encourage reading as part of everyday life, and help parents and students see that learning is a process that doesn't stay contained to the school day. The community is even being asked to get involved, with volunteer opportunities at many schools.

The challenge for parents will be helping kids find fun books to read. Books that open up your mind, encourage your imagination and take you away from the everyday world into a wonderful, magical land of escape. Too many times reading can feel like a chore, especially when you're marking off how many accelerated reader books you've gotten done, or making sure you get your fifteen minutes of reading as homework in each night. The opportunity with this new campaign is that it makes reaching one million a fun challenge to meet, but it also encourages the idea of reading for fun, not measuring the minutes or choosing from a specific list.

I admit, even I've been disappointed in some childrens' books lately. They just seem slightly boring, maybe a little too preachy. But there are plenty of great books out there, if you just know where to look. For a start, check out the books on the list of winners (and honors) of the Caldecott and Newbery Awards, given each year by the American Library Association. You'll be surprised which books are on here, and so many from years ago have held up over time.

And as always, take advantage of your libraries. They are great resources, staffed with knowledgeable people who all love reading and want to share that. Here are the sites for the Greensboro and Forsyth County public libraries.

And remember, the best way to encourage reading is to read yourself!

Is my child ready for kindergarten?

Believe it or not, it's already time to start thinking about school for next year. Will your child be starting preschool? Are you looking into magnet programs, charter schools and private schools? And for a few of us, one of the biggest questions of our parenting lives is looming -- should I let my child go ahead and start kindergarten, or hold them back a year, or even get them tested to start early? It's been a big topic of discussion ever since "red-shirting" became trendy, holding kids with summer birthdays back so they start kindergarten at age 6. But when the North Carolina public schools changed the kindergarten deadline back to Aug. 31 last year it became even more of an issue, as parents whose kids were turning 5 in September and October talked about getting them into kindergarten anyway.

Whether or not to push your child ahead or keep them back is a very personal decision, and depends completely on your own child and their abilities and maturity. But thankfully, there is plenty of information out there to help you make that decision. Do you think holding them back so they're older is the best option? Sometimes, but keep your mind open. There are pros and cons to everything, and red shirting isn't the magic bullet we all used to think it was. Emily Brazelon writes about some of the drawbacks.

And if you're thinking about getting your almost-5-year-old into kindergarten, you'd better start doing your research now. The North Carolina public schools have pretty stringent guidelines, and even though this letter is from Orange County, the guidelines are the same across the state. If you decide to go ahead with the testing, you'll have to get both an achievement test and an IQ test. Check out our online exclusive, "Helping Your Child Reach Their Full Potential," for some more information on the testing. One local group that performs these tests is Sloan Academics in Winston-Salem.

On the fence? Check out this simple "pros and cons of early kindergarten entry," from our sister publication Carolina Parent.

And luckily, there are plenty of choices of great schools in our area to help you make sure you're getting the best you can for your kids. For help choosing the right school for your child, check our our recently updated Preschool and Private School directories.

Protecting the Gift

I spent last week in Denver at the semi-annual speaker's training for my job teaching self-defense and personal safety classes, and I realized that I have yet to even offer any safety tips on this blog! Which is crazy because I love talking about my job! And I love teaching people how to be safe and how to keep their children safe.

I decided to share my number 1 safety tip for parents -- Read Protecting the Gift by Gavin de Becker. I can't recommend the book highly enough, but I also can't express how difficult it is for me to read. I find the horrible tales of child adbuction, neglect, sexual assault and physical abuse too hard to accept. It would feel so much nicer to pretend that they don't happen. When we live in denial, we can pretend that our children aren't at risk or that we don't have any real responsibility to ask tough questions in order to protect them. We can ignore our intuition and say things like "he looks like such a nice guy" or "I'm sure she just fell down. Children get bruises all the time."

The downside to living in denial is that some children DO get abducted, some parents DO abuse their children, and sometimes bad things DO happen. Being in denial means that not only do we ignore the existence of these bad things, but we also ignore any opportunity to prevent them.

Someone once said "with great knowledge, comes great responsibility." It has been a difficult and emotional experience to have my eyes opened to the violence that even the smallest beings of our species experience. But I'm grateful, because now I have the knowledge necessary to protect my daughter and maybe other children. I'm ready to accept that responsiblity. Are you? Pick up one of Gavin de Becker's books at your local library or bookstore.

Get Your Kids to Eat Vegetables with a Soup Month Part

January is National Soup Month. It makes sense. In this cold, dreary weather, a warm, comforting bowl of soup is sometimes just the thing you need to brighten your day. Or at least chase the chills away. And guess what, soup can also be a great tool for parents! Have kids that pooh-pooh vegetables? Soups are a great way to make eating vegetables fun. Make it into a party, and celebrate National Soup Month!

So why are soups so good for you? It's not just an old wive's tale that chicken soup is good for a cold. The vegetables and chicken are full of immune-boosting anti-oxidents, and chicken soup also has anti-inflammatory properties. And besides all that, the warm liquid feels good on a sore throat, and the steam helps open your nasal passages. Even if you're not sick, soup is good for you. The vitamins, minerals and nutrients are delivered to your system in a low-fat, low-calorie package. It's also economical and convenient! A can of soup at the store won't set you back too much, just make sure it's a low-sodium formulation for better nutrition. And homemade soups are often made from leftovers.

If you're ready to take on making a pot of soup today, here are a few recipes to try.

Chicken Soup

Vegetable Soup

Slow-cooker soup recipes

50 quick and easy soup recipes

Benjamin's Cars

Since last August, Benjamin has acquired about three dozen little Hot Wheels/ Matchbox cars. It started with two cars at BG's house and seems to have blossomed into a fleet of various vehicles.

Up until now, I had never really appreciated all the detail that goes into these cars. The two cars at BG's house were mine. I remember buying them because the paint was supposed to change color when dipped into cold or warm water. I thought that was pretty neat! Would you believe that twenty-five years later, the transformation still works!

The cars Benjamin has now don't have fancy paint jobs, but several of them have moveable parts. I'm impressed at how different each car is from the next. Benjamin knows all of his cars and usually has them all in one place. He does, however, have some that are his favorites. Usually, these are the newest ones. When we go somewhere, he asks, "Couple cars?" and goes and gets them. He'll carry them around while we're out, or they will be tucked securely into my coat pocket.

Benjamin is pretty good about sharing his cars. We've taken them to Mommy and Me time and he's been okay with other little kids playing with them. They usually bring their own cars to share as well. This weekend, though, the Chinese children from across the street came over to play and Benjamin did not want to share. The youngest is one year old and he wanted all of Benjamin's favorite cars. He got all of them and would not give them back. Neither one of the boys speaks the other's language, but both made themselves clear! The little boys' dad and I jumped in to mediate. Armored car, cement mixer, scraper, fire truck, dump truck, hot dog car, blue car, red truck, pick up truck, orange car, scoop, fancy truck--Benjamin loves them all.

Kids, Sports and Seasons in NC

We haven't even made it to the Super Bowl and college basketball is just now in full swing, but for parents, it's time to start looking into soccer, t-ball and all those spring sports. After you get after the shock of having to think about spring so soon after Christmas, check out our Sports Directory. It's been updated for all those spring sports and is full of registration information and things you need to know.

Having a hard time thinking about soccer in this weather? There's still plenty of time to enjoy winter sports. Head over to LJVM for some ice skating, and enter our contest for a chance to win free passes to take your family skating. If you're going outside to get active, roller blading or biking around the neighborhood, we've got some tips for dressing warm to help keep your kids safe. Remember to layer! And of course, there are plenty of great ways to play inside. Check out our blog from the other day for a list of YMCAs in the area.

Prejudice

Have you ever felt that you or your child were treated differently because of being a split home? Sometimes it just seems like other parents treat me differently, especially when it comes to their child coming over to our home for a visit. It does seem to vary depending on that child's home situation, but it just seems like there are a couple of kids that never get permission to come and spend the night with my daughter. Maybe it is because they know I have a steady boyfriend and do not think that would be a good influence or something. Just curious,have any of you have ever encountered this? I think it is sad, prejudice on any level, but in this day and time it is a reality.

Take Your Kids to Tickle U

Race relations, crib recalls, devastating earthquakes ... it's been a week of big news stories and serious conversations with our kids. I thought today we might all be ready for a break from reality, and enjoy some laughter to lighten the mood. Take your kids to Tickle U, and the laughter you all enjoy will be good for your mental health as well as theirs! What is Tickle U? It's a name I borrowed from the Cartoon Network. Back when my daughter was a preschooler, they had a block of shows aimed at 2-3 year olds, supposedly to encourage laughter and help develop their sense of humor. It didn't last long, and I know why, the shows weren't that funny. But the premise was great. Kids have a natural sense of humor, and their laughter is contagious. And you can help your kids grow into a great sense of humor from an early age, even by just blowing raspberries on your baby's stomach. Want to laugh? Here are some ideas to get you started:

Tell some Knock Knock jokes. Kids love them, no matter how corny they are, and it'seven fun to make up some of your own. Here are a few to get you started at JokesnJokes.net.

Tickle U's shows might not have been laugh inducing, but there are some shows that are. I've never seen my daughter laugh more than when watching Tom & Jerry and Bugs Bunny. Check out some old favorites on Boomerang, you'll find it's TV the whole family can get into.

Read some silly books. You tackle two birds with one stone with this one, reading together and laughing together! Check out Dr. Seuss and Shel Silvertein for some guaranteed laughs. They've both got great Web sites too, with games and other fun stuff.

For more ideas and information about how a child's sense of humor develops at each stage check out this article from Sprout for Parents.

The important thing is to just have fun. Play with your kids, get on the floor and tickle each other, get out some old clothes and play dress up, maybe even head to the bounce house and take your shoes off and get in there with them. You'll be surprised at how much better you feel once you've let off some of the stress from this week!

The Rollercoaster

Andrew's behavior has been rather uneven as of late. Last Tuesday, he and I were on each other's nerve and I was ready to trade him for a ham sandwich. Then, on Wednesday, he took a turn for the better and we got along famously for the rest of the week.

I wish I could understand what sets him off. For example, on Tuesday, I asked him to wash his hands before dinner and he got completely bent out of shape. He yelled, "I hate you, Mother!" and stomped off. I was left to wonder what was so bad about a little hand washing. His other favorite exclamation of protest is, "Never!" The last thing I need is a preschool drama queen.

On the flip side though, when he happy with me, he gushes, "I love you, Mommy." He's sweet and thoughtful, too. I'm almost as perplexed at this behavior as I am when he's so mad at me. But I like this kind much better, so I'll roll with it.

Dear Reader, if you have one, what's your four year old like?

Talking with Kids about Haiti

It's been a week since the earthquake hit Haiti, and every day we're bombarded with images of devastation and despair, and it seems to just get worse. Just this morning, news broke that a 6.1 magnitude aftershock rocked the country. It's hard to fathom the depths of destruction even as an adult, but for our kids, even if we're trying our best to shield them, they're absorbing some of these images and the news as well. And older kids are probably full of questions and concerns. How can you help? Ben Martin of TheFatherLife.com has a well-written piece on how to talk with kids about Haiti, including these tips:
Make sure to listen to them first. FInd out what they know and show your own concern.
Keep explanations simple.
Try to avoid watching too much of the news around them.
Give them a chance to be involved in helping.

In that instance, we have some help. Right now, many organizations are just asking for money. It might help your kids feel like they've contributed by giving just a few dollars from their piggybanks. Some kids are even getting creative, setting up lemonade stands and bake sales. Some good sources are The American Red Cross and the Salvation Army. Many churches also have disaster relief funds set up, such as the Presbyterian Church USA's Disaster Assistance.

If you'd rather give supplies, Ashtae Products in Greensboro is working to fill up a trailer with items like toothpaste, soap and shampoo. And Christ Cathedral Church of Deliverance in Winston-Salem is collecting water.

The need for supplies will continue for a long time. There will be plenty of other opportunities to give as we continue to help the country get through this tragic natural disaster.

FDA Now Has Concerns About BPA

For Christmas, my mom got me a set of glass food storage containers. "Don't you know reheating food in plastics isn't good for you?" Of course, I had heard all the news about BPA in baby bottles, and have read the reassurances that it's not harmful but be wary. But maybe my mom was more right than I thought. The other day the FDA issued a new statement about BPA, changing their status to "concerned" about the possible effects of longterm exposure to BPA in infants and children. There will still be more research done before they make any official guidelines, but in the meantime, it has parents talking about BPA all over again. To add to the confusion, the American Chemistry Council stands behind the safety of plastics with BPA, claiming that these products contribute to the safety and convenience in our daily lives.

Luckily, there is plenty of information out there to help you avoid BPA intake.
Check out Safe Mamma's Web site for an extensive list of BPA-free baby bottles, sippy cups and water bottles.
Use baby formula that has to be diluted with water rather than ready-made, as often as possible.
When reheating leftovers, use only containers labeld "microwave safe," and keep plastic covers one to two inches above your food.
Rinse canned fruits and vegetables before preparing them.
Avoid using plastics that are labeled with the number 7.

Make Today a Day of Service

In the spirit of a man who gave his life to serving others, Martin Luther King Day has become a day of service nationwide. With kids out of school for the day, it's a great opportunity to get to know the community we live in and help continue to knock down social barriers in our society. There are plenty of volunteer activities going on around the area today. For a list of different options in Greensboro, check out what's going on through Volunteer Services. In Winston-Salem's Benton Convention Center there will be a read-in to promote literacy and service to kids ages 4-10. There are also other opportunities to volunteer in this area through HandsOn Northwest North Carolina.

It's exciting to see all the volunteer opportunities that you can do together with your kids. And the educational aspect of the holiday continues today as well. The soon-to-be-open Civil Rights Museum has lent the Greensboro Children's Museum a child-size counter like that from the downtown Woolworth's to help with this week's activities. And today a group of AmeriCorp volunteers will be at the museum hosting activities and stories. For more information on this, call Sara Carpenter, 336-256-1375.

Two Stories

Yesterday morning, I was in the kitchen and the boys were starting to fight. I turned around and looked at one and said, "You go in this corner." I looked at the other and said, "And you go in this corner. When I ding the bell, y'all are going to come out hugging." The boys gave me a funny look because a) they weren't really in corners, and b) I didn't have a bell. I said, "Ding! Ding!" And they hugged each other. I can't believe it actually worked!

We have a joke in our family that goes like this:
"Knock, knock!"
"Who's there?"
"Smell mop!"
"Smell mop who?"
"No, thanks!" (Say it out loud and it makes sense.)
Last week, Bill and I were out shopping with Benjamin when he had a poop which brought our outing to a rather abrupt end. Bill didn't want to change him because it was so cold so we headed home. On the way home, we heard a little voice from the back seat ask, "Knock, knock?" It is such fun to see Benjamin come into his sense of humor!

One other thing about Benjamin, last week, he started peeing in the potty! We're on our way to diaper-free days! Hooray!

Celebrating Martin Luther King, Jr.

Something funny happened the other day. I was trying to explain to my 5 year old daughter why she isn't going to school, and we talked about Martin Luther King, Jr. and all the amazing things this great man did. The idea that people were treated so differently only because of the color of her skin was so hard for her to grasp, and I thought to myself, "that's exactly what he was dreaming of." Of course, we still have a long way to go. But this weekend, take some time to celebrate the man and how far we've come. There are quite a few events going on this weekend, starting with a parade in High Point on Friday. On Saturday, check out Culture of Color at the Greensboro Children's Museum. And this weekend, St. James Presbyterian hosts a traveling African-American exhibit. For more ideas, the News & Record has listed events going on around Greensboro, and the Winston-Salem Journal has its list of local events.

And if you're like me, and struggling to find a way to explain to your kids who Martin Luther King, Jr. was and all the deep and somewhat complicated issues surrounding segregation, there is some helpful material on Kaboose.

Who Makes The Rules?

Well, I just decided to let my daughter have a Facebook profile. Lots of her friends at school have them, and I felt she was at the age that she could do this with my supervision and be okay. We set up her profile and she is all up and running.

I got to thinking last night about decisions such as this. I made this decision on my own. But is this one of those decisions where I should have involved her dad? I have sole physical custody of our daughter and he gets visitation with her every other weekend and one night during the week. I feel that a decision such as this is appropriate for me to make on my own. I feel most any decision involving her is okay for me to make as she lives with me. I think the only decision that I would involve him in would be a major health decision involving her or something that involved her and her relationship with him. I feel the sole caretaker has the responsibility to make the "rules" in the child's life.

What do you think? What decisions do you involve your ex in?

Did you get a Wii for Christmas?

Right after the holidays, it seemed like everyone was talking about their new Wii. On Facebook, status updates consisted of reports on how parents were taking over the Wii once kids went to bed, and a whopping 4 kids in my daughter's preschool class of just 10 got one. It makes me wonder how sales of this console can be reported as dropping! But to save its place as the top-selling game console, Nintendo has announced it will now be adding the ability to download movies from Netflix on its Wiis. And maybe even the Wii video channel, which has debuted in Japan. This is in the hopes that people who are debating between the Wii and the PS3 will not choose the Sony product because of its ability to play movies. But is that what we really buy the Wii for? Parents buy their families the Wii over other gaming systems because it's not just a mind-numbing time in front of the TV. It's an interactive system, it gets kids off the couch, and it even has entire families playing together. There's even the Wii Fit Plus, an exercise-type gaming system targeted at kids. Believe it or not, the benefits of exercising with the Wii is gaining momentum, it's even become a part of a physical education program at a school system in Ohio.

The Wii seems like the perfect solution for getting kids active during these cold, short days of winter when the time for playing outside is limited. Don't have one? Don't worry. There are plenty of other great ideas to get your kids active, that don't involve a TV screen of any sort! One thing I like to do with my young ones is put on some very upbeat music, preferably my music (not the Wiggles) and dance our hearts out. Have a basement? Strap on some roller skates and turn your previously underused space into a homegrown roller rink.

And there are plenty of activities to do around town. Check out the open bounce times at Bounce U for a great energy release. Try your hand at one of the prettiest winter sports, ice skating, at Greensboro Ice House or LJVM (win free passes for an extra bonus).

We're also blessed with lots of great YMCAs and YWCAs. Find one in your area:

YWCA High Point

YMCA Northwest NC

Greensboro YMCA

Do You Recall?

I found out the other day that a cloth book I had purchased for the boys, Big Rex & Friends, has been recalled. This cute little book about dinosaurs is being recalled because there is a sewn-on red spot that has a high amount of lead in it. I remember buying this book, thinking the boys would like it because they have an Uncle Rex. I had been given another book of the same type (but about bugs) as a baby gift for Andrew and read it to him so many times that I can still quote the opening lines.

Cloth books are usually a pretty good idea for babies. I can attest that all of the board books at our house have marks from little guys gnawing on them. What I want to know is, why didn't the makers of this book test it for lead before they sold so many of them? Where is quality control? Do the workers who make the books know about the high level of lead? I'm just hoping my boys didn't chomp on that particular page. I'm off to go find that book!

Start Training Now for a Family 5K

I remember years ago, it seemed like everyone's parents were joggers (except mine), running through the neighborhood before work in short-shorts. While jogging sort of fell out of popularity for a while, it seems running has come back as a popular sport. A lot of my parent friends have started running in 5Ks as a way to get active, and enjoy some social time too. It's something almost everyone can do, and all you need is a good pair of shoes.

Granted, the frigid temperatures of the last two weeks haven't done much to encourage those New Year's resolutions for more family activity. But we are looking forward to a little warm up now, and with some fun races coming up in our area, now is a great time to start the whole family on a training regimen that can be fun and healthy! To get started, check out our article on "Family Fun Runs." Stacey Libbert gives great advice on how to train with family members of various ages, and how to bring the fun into running. Some other local training groups are listed in today's article in the News and Record.

Then map out your plan with this list of upcoming races at RunningintheUSA.com.

Getting Ready for Exams

It's mid-term time for many high schoolers in our area. Guilford County students started yesterday, and Forsyth County will get started this Friday. For freshman, the exams are even more stressful because it's the first time. Granted, thanks to EOGs and writing tests and all that good stuff, our kids should be able to handle test stress. But exams are a whole new beast. Having to study months worth of material instead of just the last few things you've gone over in class, having a test that's weighted more than other grades, it all boils down to an important week of work.

So how can you help? By the time our kids are in high school, they are studying alone in their rooms and teachers aren't sending home little reminders and updates every day like those early elementary days. But there are still some things parents can do. Encourage your kids to get to bed early before exams. Study after study has shown how important a good night's sleep can be at improving memory recall. Make sure they eat a good breakfast or take some good portable food with them, like sandwich wraps or granola bars.

And be there for them. Offer to ask questions, review notes or discuss their subject matter. Help free up their schedule so there's time to study this week. Encourage them to study a little every day, rather than cramming everything in at once. And above all, make sure they know that you love and support them, no matter what the final grade ends up being. As long as they've given it their all, of course!

For more test-taking tips check out these sites:
KidsHealth.org: Test Taking Tips
TestTakingTips.com: Great tips on studying for tests and relieving stress.

The Chaos Resumes

The past two months have been so peaceful. I've had time to relax, form a regular TV-watching schedule, and even pick up a new workout program. But this week marks the kick off of my company's Spring Tour. I work for a company called Fight Back Productions. We teach personal safety and self-defense seminars all over the country, mainly at colleges, high schools and corporations.

This week I take off on my first trip of the semester, and while the life of a "jet setter" is exciting, it is so hard for me to leave my little doodlebug. I'll never forget one morning last semester when my flight took off at 6 a.m. I woke up at 4 a.m. and got dressed, packed up the car and said goodbye to my sleeping husband and daughter. As I drove to Greensboro, I was so sad to leave them and I just thought to myself..."Why? Why do I do this?" I arrived at the airport and sat down to check my email on my phone.

I had received a google alert about a 13-year-old girl in Alabama. She was on a field trip with her class at a local amusement park. She sat down on a bench to wait for her friends when suddenly a man sat beside her and started touching her. She says that she froze out of fear for a moment, but then remembered what she had learned at the one self-defense class that she had ever taken. (Which was offered at her school by the way. Do you remember taking self-defense class in school? Does your son or daughter learn these skills at their school?) She kicked and hit and pushed until she was able to get away.

Now obviously we don't know what would have happened to this girl, but in that moment I knew that she could be my daughter, my friend or my niece, and that she was certainly my audience when presenting a Girls Fight Back seminar. I know that someday, my daughter will be old enough to ask me why I have to go out of town to work. Why I can't just go to the office from 9 to 5 like other moms. I hope I remember this story, so that I can tell her how important what I do is to me and hopefully to others.

And then....I'll teach her how to kick some butt if she ever needs to.

Let's Talk about Sex

It's the conversation most of us dread: explaining the ins and outs of the birds and the bees to our kids. In the news today, a mom wrote to an advice columnist asking if she should talk to her 13 year old daughter about sex, after overhearing a conversation where she might have admitted being sexually active. The answer? Yes! In fact, we reported in this month's Family Health Notes that research from the American Academy of Pediatrics found most parents have the sex talk too late, after many kids have already passed key sexual milestones.

So when should you have the talk? In my own experience, I've found that you have to use a combination of factors to make that decision. Remember that no one knows your child as well as you do, and you will be the best judge of when they're emotionally ready to handle the topic. But it's also important not to remain too naive. Remember that kids today are exposed to a lot more than we were at their age, and stay aware of what's going on at school, on the bus or even at their friends' houses. With our teenager, we approached the topic in stages, much like the American Academy of Pediatrics page spells out. Their advice goes up to preteens. For some good help with the pre-teens and teens, check out the information from WebMD.

Are you worried that broaching the subject will just make your teens think having sex is okay? One of the important things to remember is to be sure of your own standing before having the talk. Use the opportunity in your conversation with your kids to talk about your own beliefs and values. It's one of the best ways to open up the conversation and encourage them to talk with you, now and in the future, about relationships and everything else.

To Wii, Or Not To Wii

Yesterday Bill, the boys, and I had a wonderful brunch at Auntie A's house with three-quarters of the family for whom I used to nanny. Adrienne prepared a spectacular meal, as usual, and we were able to catch up with everyone.

The older of my former charges is a freshman at Carolina and the younger is a junior in high school. Both of them have grown into fine young men. We had a really good visit and hated to see them leave, but the high schooler was in charge of a volunteer event later in the afternoon and had to go make brownies.

After we saw them off, cleaned up the kitchen, and put the boys down for a nap, Bill and I tried out Adrienne's new Wii gaming system. Let me date myself -- the last time I played a video game was back in the '80s. Bill got a Nintendo when we were first married and played it for a week. I don't think he has touched it since. But both of us LOVED the Wii! We skied, we played tennis, we bowled, we boxed! Even Andrew, who didn't take a nap, was able to do some of the sports. So, now Bill and I are thinking about getting ourselves a Wii.

Dear Reader, if you have one, what do you think of this system?

Have a Family Night this Weekend

We didn't get much snow, but the temperatures are forecasted to be frigid once again this weekend. And judging from the movie reviews of the new ones opening, it might be a better weekend to stay in and hang out with the family! Luckily there are a lot of great movies on DVD right now, including the new one, Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs. For the younger ones you might also try Up or Ice Age 3. Older kids will love Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian and the new Harry Potter flick.

Got teens at home? Entice them to stay in with GI Joe and some great snacks, like these popcorn balls or the traditional Chex Mix party mix. Family night doesn't have to be movie night, it can also be the start of a new tradition: Game Night. Pull out some of those old board games, and check out Hasbro's site for some party-starting ideas. One game my family likes to play during the winter months is Risk. It's a great game, but very time consuming! It's a good way to get those kids away from the Wii and Playstation for a little while.

And of course, what winter weekend is complete without a good cup of hot chocolate? Let the kids get involved with making this Hershey's Hot Cocoa, or add some variety with some of these recipes.

Ring Out the Old, Ring in the New

We're still in the early days of 2010, the time when New Year's resolutions are still fresh on the mind and people are inspired to make a fresh start. For parents, it seems like fresh starts come in a constant barrage. The baby grows into a toddler and you ditch the rear-facing car seat. The toddler becomes a preschooler and you no longer need the playpen and crib. The preschooler starts kindergarten and the potty seat is long gone. But what do you do with all that equipment as the kids quickly outgrow it and move on? Sometimes it's not as simple as just giving it away. Car seats expire, and we've had lots of cribs recalled recently. There's always talk among parents about taking a truck load full of equipment to Goodwill only to be turned away because they don't accept something. Luckily, there are still plenty of ways to give your unused furniture to those who need it, or even sell it to make a little cash to buy the next thing your child needs! Here are a few options for Triad parents.

Triad Goodwill doesn't specifically say they won't take cribs, but they don't take products that have been recalled. Do your research before you take your furniture in, and call your local Goodwill to see what they do and don't take.

Family services centers are often in need of baby equipment. Check with Family Services of Forsyth, Stokes and Davie County or Family Services of the Piedmont to see what they need.

Freecycle.org is a cool new way to recycle your stuff, and there's a group in Lexington.

Many parents often find luck selling their used stuff on Craigslist. Again, make sure you're not handing off a product that has been recalled or a car seat that's expired.

Consignment stores are also a good way to unload some of your stuff, and if you're in the market for your own cribs and playpens they're a good place to shop. We have a lot of good ones in the area, as well as a lot of consignment sales at churches during the spring. Try these for a start:
WeeRuns
Once Upon a Child

Being Kids With Our Kids

Andrew and Benjamin are media junkies. We read to them all the time and go to the library often to supplement Bill's and my collection books from our childhoods.

Thanks to all that, they are being introduced to a very random bunch of characters. Gene Autry, for example, has unsaddled the Lone Ranger as Andrew's new favorite cowboy. Andrew watches him with Papa and tells everyone about him. I've had several weird looks from people when Andrew mentions his name. At least he did sing a nice version of "Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer."

The Charlie and Lola books by Lauren Child are Benjamin's latest fave. We have one from the library called "Say Cheese!" Benjamin has learned the phrase, "Easy peasy, lemon squeezy" from it. He's entirely too cute saying "wemon squeezy!" I think the books are actually based on a British television series; the boys and I have enjoyed one of the videos from the library as well.

Bill has introduced Andrew to the Super Friends from the Saturday morning 1970's cartoons. They've also watched our DVDs of "The Tick," a cartoon from the mid-1990s. Depending on what he's watched recently, Andrew will introduce himself as The Tick (Bill gets to be sidekick, Arthur) or the Flash. He's already asked if he can be the Flash for Halloween. I think his dad can be in charge of finding that costume.

A friend of mine gave us a mix CD of kids' songs that aren't annoying. The Ting Tings and Laurie Berkner sing a couple of my favorites (Check them out on youtube.com). It's fun to listen to it in the car and see the boys rockin' out in their carseats.

Dear Reader, what bits of your childhood are your sharing with your children?

What's in a Name? Top Baby Names for 2009

What to name the baby. It's one of the most important decisions we make as a parent. At least, it seems like it at the time! You go through lists, buy books, agonize over the choices, all to try to find the perfect name for your child. One that's unique, one that stands out from the crowd, one that will make them proud, one that goes well with your last name. A name means a lot, and that's probably one reason why so much thought goes into them, not just picking them out but analyzing them, studying trends, keeping track of names. Today BabyCenter.com announced the top 100 names of 2009, and parents all over the country will check it out to see if their kids' name is on the list, to get ideas for names for future siblings and just to satisfy their curiousity.

So your daughter's named Isabella, the top girl's name of the year. Ever wondered just how many other Isabella's there are? It's really not as many as you'd think. Check out this article from the Philadelphia Inquirer for a good look at the shifting trends in baby names.

For some interesting comparisons, check out the top baby names of 2009 from Victoria, Australia, and the UK (boys and girls). Parenting.com also put out their own list. And guess what, they have some predictions for the names of 2010!

Best-Value Colleges in NC!

Budget crunches, layoffs, dropping 401Ks -- the news about the economy is pretty depressing, and for parents of high school kids it's coming at a bad time, right when our kids are figuring out their futures and applying to the college of their dreams. Today some good news came out for you parents. Six schools in North Carolina have made Kiplinger's list of the Top 100 Best Values in Public Colleges. And to top it all off, the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill made number one!

It's nice to know there are so many great options for our kids here at home. To read more about these schools and others in North Carolina, visit our online College Guide. It's packed full of information you need as you help your kids get ready for college. And whether you're planning college visits for juniors or still harping on your seniors to fill out their applications, the College Foundation of North Carolina's Web site is a great resource.

Stumbling into 2010

Welcome back to reality, right? The past two weeks I have been running a marathon of church services, family get-togethers and cross country travelling. Yes, my husband and I packed up our daughter and drove to Buffalo, NY, where he is from and where most of his family lives. There we rushed around to make sure we had at least some time to visit with every grandparent, aunt, uncle, and cousin that we could find in a three hour driving radius.

We eventually landed for three days at my brother-in-law's house. In this one home resides two parents, four daughters, three dogs, many fish, one rabbit and one parrot. And this was the relaxing portion of our holiday events! I have always looked up to Brian and Kelly (my brother-in-law and sister-in-law) because their life runs like a well-oiled machine. As parents, I can't imagine anyone doing a better job than they have done with their girls who each make great grades, participate in sports and music, complete their chores, and are polite as can be. Kinda sickening, huh?

On top of all this, Brian and Kelly are a blast to be around. We stayed up late at night drinking margaritas and playing Wii games and they hosted a New Year's Eve party that at one point had more children than adults. I just don't know how they do it. Sometimes, being around those people--you know, the parents who seem to do everything perfectly-- just makes you feel so inadequate. I started thinking to myself, well, maybe I should be buying all Cassie's snacks organic or maybe I should have an art table for her at our house. By the time we left, I was questioning virtually every parenting decision I had ever made.

And then we began the drive home. Cassie was great for the most part. We stopped for lunch at Chick-fil-a, where I allowed my daughter to have chicken nuggets and felt bad. Unlike our trip up, when we stopped at the amazing Children's Museum of Pittsburgh for two hours to allow Cassie to have some fun outside of the car, on the trip back we pushed through. We kept Cassie locked up in her carseat for far too long, and I felt bad. When only 20 minutes away from home and I realized that my daughter was working on filling up her diaper, I decided to press on as fast as we could rather than stop for a change, and I felt bad. We got home just in time to allow her a little over half and hour to run around before bed, and I felt so low about my abilities as a mom.

I sat on the floor and Jeff came to sit beside me. We were exhausted and both just grateful to have survived the trip. Cassie came and jumped on top of us, gave us a big hug and said "family." I had never heard her say that word before, but she said it and she knew that it meant us. The three of us. In that moment, I wondered why I had allowed myself to feel less than. Certainly not because of anything Brian or Kelly did, they were nothing but complimentary when it came to how Jeff and I were doing with Cassie. Something in our human nature compels us to compare ourselves to one another and then judge who is better and who is worse when in reality we are only different.

My resolution this year? To use my relationships with other parents for support and inspiration, but never as a measuring stick for my capabilities as a mom. The only measurement of my success stands just over two feet tall, has curly blond hair, and loves pasta.

Tips for Keeping the Kids Warm

The highest high temperature this week is 37 on Thursday. It's cold! Looks like we've entered the days of board games, movies and lots of time inside. But I can't stay inside forever, and I'm very much of the opinion that it's good for the kids to get outside too, at least for a little while. Before going out in these frigid temperatures, make sure you're adequately prepared. Kids are more susceptible to hypotermia. They have a relatively larger body surface that contributes to more rapid heat loss, and they also might not be as aware of the internal signs that they're too cold.

Here are some tips for staying warm outside:
Dress in layers. Getting in and out of the car? Going out for some pretty intense physical activity? You'll want to make sure there are some layers your kids can shed and put back on.

Pay attention to the materials. This is the time of year to pull out those wool sweaters. Wool is an excellent insulator, and keeps you warmer than cotton because cotton is quick to absorb water and will be wet.

Wear a hat! 50-60 percent of your body's heat escapes from your head and hands. It's amazing how much warmer you'll feel with a hat on. And luckily for parents, hats are now becoming a style statement, and there are so many cute and funky ones to choose from. Better yet, many are on sale now! Check out some of these styles at Old Navy and Target.

Remember to stay hydrated. Just because you're not sweating doesn't mean you don't still need to replenish those fluids.

Have a teen who refuses to wear a coat? Maybe it's not worth the fight. Read our article, "The Perennial Coat Fight," for some help with this debate.

For more tips on being prepared for the cold check out this article from Reader's Digest.

Where's My Umbrella?

On the last Sunday afternoon of 2009, all of us went to a baby shower for one of Bill's friends. He and his wife are expecting a boy in February. The little guy will be their first child. Another of Bill's friends (Bob) and his family also came to the party. Bill was talking about the conversation they had that they never thought they would have.

Bill: "So, Don's having a baby and they're having a shower for him and his wife. Wanna go?"
Bob: "Yeah, I'm excited about it."

At the shower, Benjamin and I were sitting next to the father-to-be and imparting all sorts of parenting wisdom. I explained to Benjamin that he was going to be a "new daddy." Benjamin looked across the room at Bill and said, "Old daddy."

On that note, I wish you a happy and hilarious new year!

Happy New Year!

It's 2010!

I hope everyone is enjoying the first hours of the new year. Surprisingly, my two oldest made it until midnight to watch the ball drop. We had a lot of fun playing Guitar Hero and singing karaoke all evening.

I'm spending today doing a little work for the magazine and also taking down Christmas decorations and cleaning. Not a fun way to spend New Year's Day, but will be nice to get a lot done today so I can enjoy the weekend.

We have very much enjoyed Christmas break, and it will be hard to wake up at 6 a.m. on Monday and get everyone ready for school. Ugh!

We have slept late, played hard and even taken a day trip to Hiddenite Center, which you can read about in the February issue. Yesterday, I took Carson and Morgan to see "Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel." Carson says it was better than the first one. I thought it was cute, probably exactly what you would expect if you are considering taking the kids.

Over dinner last night, we talked about resolutions for 2010. Here they are:

Hubby: "Be healthy and eat less sugar."

Carson: "To do extra chores." (I like this one!)

Morgan: "Wash my hands more often." (Guess this one is influenced by the H1N1 scare.)

Jackson: Become less addicted to the paci? Stop hitting his brother and sister when they are in my lap? Stop pointing to his nose when someone says, "Where's Mommy?" Stop throwing food from the high chair? Eat more vegetables? Stop licking the front door? Lots of choices here.

Me: "Walk more. Eat less."

Happy 2010!

Happy New Year!

It is so hard to believe another year has come and gone!

I often think of how this is another year under my belt of being a single mom. We did it, didn't we? We are still here and raising our children the best we can. Sure there are lots of ups and downs, some disappointments, but great accomplishments as well.

Here's wishing you and your child(ren) a safe and happy new year with lots of happiness!!!

Getting Kids Involved in New Year's Resolutions

Happy New Year! It's a brand new calendar year, a time for fresh starts and setting new goals. Ever wondered why we make new year's resolutions? Apparently it's an intuitive thing when starting a new year, the tradition has been traced all the way back to the Babylonians. They believed whatever a person did on the first day of the new year had an effect all year long, which is a good reason to start some healthy habits at the beginning of the year.

For many of us, New Year's resolutions do center around health and well being. Exercise more, eat healthy, stop smoking. Even if you're adding some financial resolutions to the list, it still helps your well being by lowering your stress level and helping enhance your happiness.

This year, when making your healthy New Year's resolutions, make them for the entire family. Resolving to eat more healthy? Make healthy meals for the whole family. Keep healthy snacks in the fridge for your kids, like carrot sticks and apple slices. Resolving to exericse more regularly? You can involved the family in this too. Get out those bikes they got for Christmas and start taking some rides around the neighborhood. Strap on some roller blades for an active family outing. Or even start training for a family 5K!

For some more great ideas for healthy New Year's resolutions for you and your kids, check out these ideas from the American Academy of Pediatrics.

There are also some other areas besides health that make great family resolutions. Make it a goal this year to volunteer more, and take your kids with you to the food bank or delivering meals on wheels. Make a resolution to become more green and get the kids involved by turning out lights in the house, turning off the water while brushing teeth and recycling all those milk cartons.

There are a lot of good habits to start for this year. Set a few attainable goals, and celebrate at the end of 2010 how your whole family helped reach them together!

Teens and Drinking: OK with Supervision?

So tonight's the big night, a night that really is about nothing but parties as we ring in the New Year. After years of having young kids and figuring out whether to get a babysitter or stay home and ring in the new year quietly, parents of teens have a whole new set of worries as they face tonight. Do you let them go to a party? Do you entice them to party at home? And do you think it's okay to let them drink a little bit, if it's supervised drinking?

It's a big question, and one that parents are divided on. When the ball drops at midnight tonight in New York and you and your spouse toast with champagne, will you be letting your teens take a sip? And is that any different than letting teens have parties with more than a sip of alcohol involved, as long as it's supervised? It sounds good to say that allowing kids to take a sip of alcohol, seeing adults drink responsibly and learning that it's not a big deal is a good way to teach them. And if this is where you stand on the issue, you're not alone. One in four adults feel it's okay for teens to drink with adult supervision.

But on the other hand, teens who have their first drink before the age of 15 are more likely to become alcoholics than those who first drink at 21. Teenagers brains are just wired differently, and they're not ready to make some of the big decisions and handle the responsibilities.

For even more information on this topic and the pros and cons of letting teens drink, check out this article from the Canadian Press.

So what will you do? Will you let your kids partake in a toast with you? Or will you get a non-alcoholic beverage for the under 21 crowd to drink? Whatever you decide, be safe, have fun, and happy new year to you and your family.

Are Thank You Notes Still Necessary?

In my opinion: Yes!! The gifts have been opened, the kids are playing with their new toys, and now, during this week where there's no school and a little more time at home, is the perfect time to sit down and write those thank you notes to Grandma and aunts and uncles. Maybe in some circles the handwritten thank you note is becoming obsolete, as seen in this slideshow of 12 Things That Became Obsolete in this decade. But when it comes to Emily Post and other people in the know as far as etiquette and manners, the thank you note is still very important. And plenty of parents agree, as seen in this poll in Mom2Mom, where most answers were yes and sometimes rather than no. Especially for friends and relatives who couldn't be there when the presents were opened, thank you notes show that their gift was appreciated. And for that reason, thank you notes should be specific and thoughtful, according to Miss Manners.

It might not be easy to tear the kids away from the brand new Wii or their beloved baby dolls for a few minutes with pen and paper, but it's important for so many reasons. It can help them improve their writing skills, it teaches them basic etiquette, something that will serve them well at social occasions throughout the year, and helps enhance those morals we all want our kids to grow up with, of caring and thinking about others.

To help make it fun and not torture, make an party out of it. Get out the last of those Christmas cookies and make some hot chocolate, you can have a festive snack while writing those notes.

Let kids' thank you notes have a personal touch. Whether it's their own writing, or if they're still young, a few pictures, the recipients will enjoy something that obviously came from the heart.

Keep it simple. They don't have to be long epistles, just something short and sweet, but remember, specific and thoughtful!

For some more help, check out these sites:
Hitched Magazine's Thank you note etiquette
Parenting at iVillage: Advice for kids' thank you notes

Making the Most of Gift Cards

We probably all got a gift card or two over the holidays. But if you have teens in the house, you probably ended up with more gift cards than presents! Good thing they're out of school this week, so you have time to tote them to the mall and everywhere else on their list, returning the gifts they did get and don't want, and spending those gift cards on all the things they've been dreaming of for weeks.

The big day after Christmas return rush is over, but stores are still pretty busy this week as people trickle in with returns. A couple of things to keep in mind if you're going the return route: make sure you know the store's return policy before you go, and don't take the item out of the packaging if you know you're planning to return it. Visti the Better Business Bureau for more return tips. And remember, all those discounts and sales might look inviting, but now is the time to be smart and use restraint while shopping, they're meant to lure you in!

Once you've returned what you need and have even more store cards to spend, help your teens be smart about their gift card purchases. You can use them to help pay for a big purchase you otherwise might not get. It pays to use them to buy something that costs a little more than the gift card amount, to ensure you use every penny that's on that card. If you end up with just a couple of dollars left, you might never go back and use that card, and that's just like money lost. USA Today has more tips for wise use of gift cards. Most important, make sure you check if there's an expiration date. Most have done away with them, but some are still there!

Drinking, Driving and Kids Don't Mix

Today on Dr. Phil: Drunk Driving Moms. Honestly, I rarely watch this show and probably won't today. But the promo caught my attention, partly because I just saw a segment on the Today show last week that covered the same topic. The holidays can be a pretty crazy mix of stress, adult parties and lots of time with the family. Many of us are at home today, looking forward to a week with the kids out of school and all holiday activities over with mixed feelings. Sure, we love our kids. But what happens when you feel stuck in the house, you can't take the whining anymore, and it's still hours until your spouse gets home from work? Apparently, some moms are turning to alcohol, even during the day, and yes, even when the kids are still around.

The high-profile story of Diane Schuler, who killed 8 people in an accident while driving intoxicated, brought to light the horrible trend of moms drinking and then driving. While men are still the primary culprits in DUI cases, the gap is closing as more women are convicted, often with kids in the car. The scary thing was that Schuler's husband didn't even know she had a drinking problem. Apparently it's not hard to hide the drinking, as this USA Today story reports in "The Secret Lives of Alcoholics."

Blogger Stefanie Wilder-Taylor of Baby on Bored shook up the blogging world when the writter well-known for her books, "Sippy Cups are not for Chardonnay" and "Naptime is the New Happy Hour," announced in August that she realized she had a drinking problem and was going to quit. It's a great example for all of us as the New Year approaches. Do you know someone you think might have a drinking problem? Maybe you make a resolution to talk with them about it and help them seek help. There are plenty of resources to turn to in the Triad, here are a few:
Alcoholics Anonymous, North Carolina
Mother Baby PEP Talks: join other moms for support and fellowship Wednesday at the High Point YWCA.
Guilford County Substance Abuse Coalition
Addiction Recovery Care Association in Forsyth County

"Hello...Santa?"

Bill and I have enjoyed "playing Santa" over the past few weeks. From pretend phone reports after the boys were put to bed to a "real" call from the Big Guy himself, we milked the myth for all it was worth.

It started about mid-November. The boys were not behaving so I told them I was going to call Santa and not give him a good report after they went to bed. Sometimes, that threat worked and they would straighten up, and sometimes it just went ignored. I would also tell them I would call Santa and let him know they had been very good. Then, last week, I asked my uncle to give the boys a call as Santa Claus. When Andrew heard "Ho, ho, ho" come over the speakerphone, he was speechless! Santa said he knew Andrew wanted a remote control motorcycle and reminded him to be good to his mama. Benjamin, on the other hand, wasn't shy. He took the phone and put in his request, "Two cars! Two cars, please!"

When we started decorating for Christmas, we found an extra stocking shaped like a cowboy boot (Andrew was in a big cowboy phase last year.) Andrew hung it up and declared it to be the stocking for Santa. Every now and then, he would make something for Santa and put it in the stocking. When we cleaned it out on Christmas Eve, Bill and I found a couple of drawings, and two quarters that I had pulled out of his ear that he had wrapped up in post-it notes and bits of wrapping paper. Bill wrote him a thank-you note from Santa.

A few days before Christmas, Auntie Adrienne came by and she and I took the boys out for a milkshake while Bill stayed home and assembled the remote controlled motorcycle. Bill said it took him over half an hour to get it out of the package and get batteries in it! (Anyone else hate those anti-theft wires in children's toys?)

We spent Christmas Eve with Grandma and Papa. Grandma and I took the boys to a service at her church-- it was a bit longer than expected, but the boys were as good as they could be. We went back to their house for supper, presents, and baths, then headed on to our house so the boys could, at last, go to bed. I made sure they saw me sprinkle the reindeer food in the grass and we put out a plate of cookies. When they finally fell asleep, Bill and I had our gift exchange, then we got busy stuffing stockings and putting out the toys for the boys. We had stashed everything in our luggage. All of our efforts and sneakiness were rewarded the next morning. We had a wonderful Christmas. I hope you did, too!

Merry Christmas

Cookies, candy, lights, presents, church services, candle teas. The wait is finally over, Christmas is here! Find some fun crafts and activities to do with the kids in our own Holiday Central. Check out our Calendar for great holiday things to do a places to go. Want to check out one of the new movies with an early holiday release date? We've linked to reviews to help you make some choices.

Enjoy the family, the long holiday weekend and the gift of special time together. Happy Holidays from Piedmont Parent!

Merry Christmas Eve Eve!

So much to do today! Laundry, cooking, cleaning and last-minute wrapping.

We did manage some family time last night and went to the Pilot Mountain Christmas Extravaganza. This is a wonderful walk-through Christmas light display. What fun this was the for the kids! Best of it, it was FREE. They also serve FREE hot chocolate.

Carson's favorite part was the hot chocolate. Morgan said her favorite part was the fake snow that fell at the barn, but she was a little creeped out by the singing snowman. Jackson really liked the singing tree. I loved the fact that there's still real snow on the ground. It made all of the beautiful lights shine a bit brighter.

It was a great activity to put the family in the Christmas spirit. If you live close to Pilot Mountain, be sure to check it out. It's perfect for the kids.

Taming the Excitement

School is now out for everyone. Christmas Day is only two days away. You know how people will watch your kids running around the park and say "I wish I could bottle that energy?" Well, this time of year, I feel like I could bottle the excitement. There's so much of it generating off me kids I think I can actually see it. And of course, that means less listening, more getting into things they shouldn't, and more time in time out.

For many of us, that's where the Santa myth really comes in handy. Crying over not getting a third cookie? "Don't cry, Santa might see you and put you on the naughty list." Other parents are using Elf on a Shelf, a neat little book that comes with its own elf, which you can place around the house to "watch" the kids and make sure they're behaving. You can even take the whole Santa myth a step further, and go with Krampus, an Austrian arch nemesis to Santa, who brings kids that have been bad switches, coal and various unpleasant items.

Personally, I haven't used the elf. But I did find myself uttering the "Santa's watching" cliche this week, and believe me, it worked! It can't hurt to use a little bribery once in a while for good behavior. But for some more long-lasting behavior help, check out these 10 Tips for Parents to Bring the Joy Back to the Holidays.

Moms in the Blogosphere

'Tis the season for lists and look-backs, and Babble.com has published one that's extremely addictive. The Top 50 Mommy bloggers of the year is a smorgasbord of writers, from newsy to humorous and everything in between. Number one on the list: Pioneer Woman. It's not surprising, every time I've seen a list of popular bloggers she's at the top, and when Triadmommies asked what blogs people read, she was mentioned a lot. Other well-known names are on the list, as well as some I hadn't heard of before but had me laughing and reading old blog posts.

Mommy bloggers have made quite a name for themselves, for reporting on parenting news and reviewing new products, posting favorite recipes or just chronicling the ups and downs of parenthood. And maybe on your own list of bloggers to check out every day, our Piedmont Parent ones make the cut. Of course, there's this one, the Daily Post, and we also have Mamma Said, The Single Mom's Soliloquy, the Time Out Corner, Teen-dom Tales and Piedmont Ponderings. Add our RSS feeds to your home page, and get the local perspective on parenting every day!

Last Minute Gift Ideas

Time is running out to get those gifts for everyone on your list! We're all asking each other if we're done shopping yet, or how the weekend's snow affected our shopping plans. But what about gifts for your kids to give grandparents, and even each other? My favorite gifts are always the handmade ones, with little feet painted into reindeer or ornaments loaded with glitter. Today, our editor Myra was on WFMY2 with some great gift ideas for the "non-crafty" mom. Just in case you missed her early-morning lessons, here are the complete directions for Candy Cane Reindeer, Happy Snowmen, Festive Frames, Glittery Star Ornament, Reindeer Ornament and Holiday Canvas Art. For more craft ideas, visit our Holiday Central.

If you still have some shopping to do, you might be in luck. Discounts aren't as deep as this time last year, but retailers are trying to lure customers in with some great sales and extended hours. You might even find some good deals at local stores that suffered from lower traffic due to our snowy weekend.

Snowy Fun!

The boys thoroughly enjoyed the snow over the weekend. Bill had taken Friday off so the four of us were able to get out together in the white stuff. Here are a few photos for you to enjoy! Merry Christmas!

Let it Snow!

"White Christmas," "Let it Snow," "Frosty the Snowman" ... so many of our favorite Christmas songs are about snow. But I have never in my life seen a white Christmas (granted, I lived in Atlanta until I was 12, rarely saw snow). But it looks like we might have a chance this year! Well, maybe not a white Christmas, but a white weekend before Christmas. It looks like it will be a good weekend to stay inside, making soup and cookies and wrapping presents. For some good ideas for snow day fun, check out our Snow Day page, where we've got some great recipes, links to school closings, snow day crafts and other great ideas for activities. And of course there's our Holiday Central, where you'll find some more great things to do inside, including some links to great information on all the winter holidays.

When the roads are safe, take the opportunity to drive around and look at all the Christmas lights. It might be our only chance for years to see them in the snow! We've got some great displays listed on our Holiday Festivals site, many of them big neighborhood displays that are free.

Swine Flu Vaccine Recall

This week, news broke that some of the swine flu vaccinations have been recalled. At the same time, the reports said that the vaccines kids already received weren't dangerous at all, just less potent. But it's not the news this vaccine needs. There was already plenty of discussion among parents about whether or not to get their kids the swine flu vaccine. Some people are just wary of any vaccine, thanks to the autism theories, some people are worried that this vaccine was rushed and not tested well, but it went through the same process as any flu vaccine, and the CDC has reported its safety. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends the vaccine to all children up to age 24. Getting your kids vaccinated not only will help them stave off this flu, which is mild according to reports, but can lead to complications in some children, but it also helps prevent the spread of the disease.

What do you think? Is it worth it to get your kids vaccinated, to help them stay well this year? Or are you willing to take the risk they might get the flu, due to worries about the vaccine?

If you're of the mind that the vaccine is worth it, there's some good news. The vaccine is now plentiful, and both Guilford and Forsyth counties have opened up their clinics to the general public, anyone who wants a vaccine can get one. It might not be as quick as the drive-thru vaccine clinics in Charlotte, but it's still pretty convenient!

Illusions and Disguises

Andrew loves magic. Over the weekend we caught a Christmas themed magic program on television and I've been pulling things out of his ear ever since. He must think his head is a bank!

At least once a day, he comes to me and says, "Mom, pull something out of my ear." Yesterday, he took a post-it note and wrapped up a quarter that he said he wanted to give to Mama Grant. When I asked, he said it came from his ear.

Andrew is also into mysteries. He's been talking about one at his dad's work for going on three months. Evidently, someone snitched a bunch of chocolate out of the communal candy jar and Andrew found out about it. He's told EVERYONE about the "chocolate mystery." This week, he told Bill of a plan to catch the thief: they would dress up as chocolate cookies and the crook would eat them! Well, that�s one way of catching a thief!

Benjamin continues to surprise me every day. The other night, I fixed veggie burgers and he ate a whole one, bun and all, layer by layer. He can do a somersault like a professional. He loves "poothies" (smoothies), and has discovered peanut butter sandwiches. He'll share his cars, but only one at a time. His favorite thing to do is whatever Andrew is doing, but he'll also happily play by himself. I'll jinx myself and say he's an "easy" child. I hope he stays that way.

A Season of Giving

I heard a story on the news the other day about hunger in our state, and one of the examples was a family with three kids, and each day a different child was able to eat breakfast while the other two had to wait their turn. There just wasn't enough food for everyone to eat breakfast every day. That story really made an impact on me, for a lot of reasons. But for one, how many times do we take a can of green beans or corn to a food drive, without really thinking twice about what we donate? I hardly ever think to take breakfast cereal, and for kids who see those commercials all the time, it's probably one of those things they would really like, but just can't afford. This is the time of year when food drives and toy drives are in full swing, and there are plenty of ways to give. WXII is continuing it's food drive, which is one easy place to give. This morning they were in Mt. Airy, but you can also drop off food at one of these locations. Take your kids to the store with you today and pick out a few boxes of cereal. It's a great way to share the holiday spirit.

Here are some other ways to give and help others:

While many of the toy drives are over, to ensure the gifts are distributed to kids in time for Christmas, you can still donate to Toys for Tots at these locations.

Food is always welcome at Greensboro Urban Ministries and the Second Harvest Food Bank of Northwest NC.

And the Asheville Citizen-Times has some good ways to help your kids keep the spirit of giving going all year round.

Mommy, is there really a Santa Claus?

A few weeks ago, my daughter asked from the back seat of the car, "Mommy, is Santa a real man?" I panicked. I didn't know how to answer. She's only 5! It's something we struggle with as parents this time of year--what do we tell the kids, and how much do we tell them?

It's fun to believe in Santa, to have the magic of Christmas and think that a jolly old man in a red suit can make your dreams come true. But do we face any sort of backlash for lying to them? David Kyle Johnson, of the Baltimore Sun, believes that not only are we lying to our kids, we're hurting their ability to think critically. I prefer to think I'm not lying, just helping create a fun myth that makes the magic of the season.

Every child is different, and every parent handles the Santa thing in a different way. There were about three years, when my stepson was in 3rd, 4th and 5th grade, when we were almost sure he knew we were Santa, but he acted like he believed, and it was fine with us to keep up the charade. Eventually he just told us he knew. It kept us from having to have "the talk," and it kept us from having any drama, like Ina Hughs' granddaughter in this blog.

But I have a feeling it won't be that easy with my daughter. Are you wondering what I told her? I just said I didn't know how to answer that question right now. Then she proceeded to tell me that he must be a man, because if he was magic, he would just wave a wand and deliver all the presents at once. So I guess now she thinks he's some kind of wonder man who can travel around the world in one night, for real.

I always told myself I'd tell her the truth when and if she asked, but I didn't want to burst the bubble at 5! And I hope that next year when she asks, which I'm sure she will, we can have a good conversation about the spirit of Christmas. My favorite holiday movie is Miracle on 34th Street, the 1947 version. I have to watch it every year. But this year I will only watch it if I find the time to watch it by myself, after the kids are in bed. I'm afraid it will raise too many questions, but in so many ways I want the gist of that movie to be what my daughter takes away from her years believing in Santa. That the Santa myth is not so much about a man in a red suit driving by reindeer to every child's house in the world as it is about believing in the power of love, family and helping others.

Bad Words

Well, the only thing I'll say about our recent visit with Santa is that Project Santa was a total fail. We didn't even get one shot. Maybe next year.

This week my daughter learned a new embarassing word to throw out at inopportune or inappropriate times. My husband and I were playing with Cassie in her room and Jeff (my hubby) was making a tower with blocks. I jokingly told him that the tower was looking somewhat...well, suggestive, if you know what I mean. He laughed and called me a pervert. My daughter now says pervert. And it is just one of the many words I wish she didn't know.

Here is my top ten list:
10. No Way or any version of NO
9. Right Now
8. Trick-or-treat (not so cute or useful after Halloween has come and gone)
7. Pee-pee/poo-poo (honestly, I don't mind that she knows them, but it isn't always the topic of conversation that I would choose)
6. The "S" word (She doesn't say it often, but repeats it when she hears it. Can you say New Year's Resolution?)
5. Couple minutes (used whenever she wants to hold on to her paci for longer)
4. Anything related to Paci.
3. Pervert
2. Shut up (learned that from my stepfather telling my mother's dog to stop barking)
1. Any of the words she knows that describe private anatomy

So what about you? What words do your little darlings use that you find embarassing, inappropriate, or just plain annoying?

Giving the Gift of Reading

Maybe it's because we're still in a recession, but it seems like there is more being written about giving books as gifts for Christmas this year. Books, while not cheap, aren't an expensive gift, and they bring lasting memories and cherished time together. Ever since my daughter was born, I've picked out a special book for her, my niece and nephew, and now her little brother, every Christmas. It might seem like a small gift, and granted it's not as exciting as a toy. But nice books can become treasured items. I always write Merry Christmas and the year inside the front cover, and now that my daughter is older, she enjoys taking inventory of her Christmas books.

The books my kids get are read over and over, and you can't wish for more for Christmas than a few sweet moments with your child snuggled up on your lap. Reading out loud to your kids is important for so many reasons. In addition to the time together, it can help them build their own literacy skills. They hear the rhyming and rhythm of the words, they learn reading comprehension, and they also learn about whatever topic the book is about! Reading out loud isn't just for parents with young children either. It's something that can be fun and important for kids of all ages. Check out the Reading is Fundamental site for tips on reading out loud for kids at different ages.

For some good ideas on what to get your kids this year, check out the articles below:

NAPPA Parenting Awards Book Picks

Piedmont Parent's December article, "Cherished Keepsakes: Books as Gifts"

Greensboro News and Record, "A Book in Every Stocking."

Chewing the Chewing Gum

Andrew loves gum! He loves it like nothing else! I don't let him have it for several obvious reasons: cavities, the possibility of having it stuck somewhere it doesn't need to be stuck, and the fact that Benjamin doesn't need to have it either. However, this weekend was spent at Auntie Adrienne's house and we have a slightly different set of rules there.

After making sure it was okay, she let him pick out some sugar-free chewing gum that smelled kind of like mangoes. He was ecstatic! And he did really well with it-- when he was done with it, he would spit it in to the trash can. Some pieces lasted longer than others, though. He disappeared with a piece after dinner Saturday night and returned a few minutes later without it.

"I - I - I ... the gum ...on the floor ... the gum ... I washed it off ... on the floor ... in the trash can," he explained. "The gum fell out of your mouth onto the floor and you washed it off and put it in the trash can?" I clarified. "Yeah,' he answered dejectedly. "Good boy. You may have another piece."

I wish you could've seen the joy return to his eyes! He had a piece Sunday morning while bouncing on Auntie A's big exercise ball that was short-lived as well. He came to us and said he'd put that one in the trash. We rewarded him with another piece. I think Adrienne and I were both pleasantly surprised with how well he did with the gum. This small treat helped us move through the days by giving him something to look forward to after going out or being good or taking a nap.

There's more gum in his future, but it still will be from Auntie Adrienne.

Two Ways to Win!

Saturday is the first day of our December giveaway, the "12 Days of Shopping." You know this site is filled with lots of great information you can't get in the magazine, including online exclusives, great bloggers and a daily take on the news. Find out just how helpful the site can be as part of your daily routine! Visit every day from December 12-23, and enter the contest to win a "go-green" Downtown Greensboro shopping bag, we're giving away one a day!

You can also enter to win tickets to the WalkerDance Ballet Theater performance of the Nutcracker, next weekend in Elon. Just scroll down to the bottom of the page and sign up to receive our newsletter. We're starting a new Piedmont Parent Planner, which will send ideas of great family-fun things to do straight to your in-box each week. You'll also be on the list to receive special updates about goings-on with Piedmont Parent and our monthly newsletter with udpates on contests and special things going on online.

Everyone who signs up for the newsletter between Dec. 12 and Dec. 16 will be entered in a drawing for a 4-pack of tickets to The Nutcracker.

The performance of the Nutcracker will be Friday, Dec. 18 at 8 p.m., Saturday, Dec. 19 at 2 and 8 p.m., and Sunday, Dec. 20 at 2 p.m. It will be held at McCrary Theater at the Elon Fine Arts Center. If you don't win but still want to go, tickets are $15 for adults and $12.50 for students. There are other performances of The Nutcracker going on around the Triad as well. Visit our own Holiday Central to find information on performances in Winston-Salem, Greensboro and High Point.

Questions

What do you do if your child does not want to go for their weekend visit with dad? Have you ever encountered this? I have not had this issue, but after my daughter's visit last weekend with her dad she came home and told me her weekend was terrible. She stated several things that had happened and some of which were aggravating to me. Nothing abusive, but just silly things like forcing her to learn how to sew, cleaning the entire house and doing all laundry, scrutinizing her Christmas list, and telling her she was lazy.

I ask, "Why?" Is all this really necessary or is it just his way again of trying to feel in control of another woman? My daughter was terribly upset about it, but it amazed me that in spite of this she still said that she was thankful he was not like another dad she knows where the children actually get abused. I thought it was nice to know she still looked at the bright side of the issue.

I have decided not to approach this issue with her dad because I feel it would do more harm to her than it would good. He will not listen to what I have to say anyway and would hold it against her for talking to me about it.

But, to take it a step further, what would I do if she decided she did not want to go to his house anymore? This just got me to thinking about what I would do if this happened to me.

Say Cheese! Getting the Perfect Santa Picture

We always want great pictures of our kids. But this time of year, it seems like the camera is out more than ever! How can you make sure you're getting a good smile, no red eyes and that great, spontaneous candid shot? There are plenty of tips out there, including the tried and true "get on the kids' level." But I've seen some even better tips this year worth sharing. First was in Heather's latest blog in The Time Out Corner. While the picture of the kid screaming with hands held out to mom on Santa's lap might catch their true emotions, it's not the one we want to share witih friends and family. To get that cute smile even on Santa's lap, Heather suggests some Santa Stalking. Visit our Holiday Festivals page for a lineup of local malls where you can start stalking.

Be sure to take your own camera along as well. Sometimes those shots of them before getting on Santa's lap are the best candid shots. Click here for more tips if you're taking your camera to see Santa.

Does it seem that all your holiday photos are of everyone else but you? Your kids will want some pictures with both parents in them! Read our article from Kathy Sena, "Oh Snap," for some good ideas on how to get candid shots of you, the family photographer, as well as other good photo tips.

And another Christmas tradition, the family photo -- for cards, around the tree, whatever it might be-- has its own complications. Here are some good tips on how to pose the family and keep it fun.

Digicam.com has some more basic tips for making sure you get the best photos.

Powdered Sugar

Last night, I began the prep work for making Christmas candy with Auntie Adrienne. We get together once a year on a weekend that has been marked on our calendars since October, put on "The Sound of Music" and make chocolate covered cherries, buckeyes, and a Maine confection called "Needams."

Our fun involves a massive amount of powdered sugar, chocolate, and half a potato, among other ingredients. Over the years we have determined the tools we need as well: cookie sheets, a double boiler, a wooden spoon, and a two-pronged meat fork. We also go through quite a lot of waxed paper.

The year Benjamin was born, we got together in August to make our candy. We knew that by the time December rolled around, I would have my hands full. This year, I'm taking Andrew with me for our candy-making weekend. I know there is so much of it that it won't hold his attention for a long time, but I want him exposed to this family tradition while he's little.

The recipe for the cherries come from my grandmother, and I think if she were alive, she would be so pleased to know that her great-grandson is learning how to make one of her specialties.

The Ultimate Bribe: Santa's Watching

An article was published today from the Canadian Press, "Are rewards for children effective or just over the top?" It's a dilemma we parents deal with almost every day. Should you give your kids a reward/treat/bribe for behaving the way they should anyway? It's something that seems to hit home especially at this time of year, when we can use that classic parenting technique, "you better be good, Santa's watching." Who can resist using that ultimate reward, toys under the tree from Santa? The increasingly popular Elf on the Shelf just helps fuel the tradition!

While giving rewards often results in some quick good behavior when we really need it, there's a reason why we also feel a tinge of guilt in bribing our kids to act their best. Maybe it's because deep down, we know it's not really the best thing. And there's some research to prove it. Studies of toddlers and preschoolers found that giving tangible rewards for showing helpful behavior backfires, and they end up being less helpful. In a less scientific study, I found that after a few weeks of having a chore chart for my daughter, where she was given a small treat at the end of the week for doing two things every day--getting dressed by herself and taking up her plate--also backfired. Before the chore chart, she would sometimes take her plate up on her own. After the chore chart, she only did it if she was getting something in return.

But rewarding good behavior isn't all bad either. It works pretty effectively in the classroom. And while it backfired on me with the plate thing, it worked great with helping encourage my daughter to dress herself, and I can't really say why. It's a balancing act of deciding which acts/behaviors to reward and how to reward them.

Sometimes all the reward they need is some verbal praise. Here's a great resource on the science of giving praise, with good tips on how to be specific and do it right.

And then there are those instances when rewards do help. A sticker for every time your child uses the potty? Works way better than time out for peeing in the pants. Carrie Vining Spanier gives some other suggestions for rewards in her blog, including a treasure chest filled with goodies from somewhere like Oriental Trading Company, handmade coupons for things like a game of putt putt or a movie rental, or even small toys like matchbox cars or new Play-doh.

If you're inspired by all this talk of rewards and chore charts, you can even visit KidsRewardChart.com to print your own and get started.

Keep Washing Your Hands

Did you know that this week is National Handwashing Awareness Week? I didn't even know there was such a thing. But this year, with the H1N1 virus making us even more aware of the flu season, handwashing has become as important for parents and teachers as it used to be for health care workers and restaurant employees. I remember in a former job having to write about proper handwashing technique, and honestly, it was all pretty boring. But these days, handwashing can be fun! Even Elmo has joined in the refrain, as you can see in this video with Gordon. Want a catchy tune to help your kids learn the proper technique? Check out Washy, Washy, Clean, Clean. And thanks to YouTube, there are plenty more where that came from.

For more fun stuff on handwashing, check out what Henry the Hand has to say. There's an entire Web site devoted to the mascot and handwashing for kids.

Thanks to all the great work from the media and the CDC, we all know how important it is to wash our hands to help prevent the spread of the flu and other viruses. And maybe that's part of what's helping the reported cases drop, they're finally leveling off in Guilford County schools. But the vaccine is helping as well, and there's been good news in both Guilford and Forsyth counties in the last few days, that new shipments of the H1N1 vaccine are coming in, and are being made available to the general public. So wash your hands, get vaccinated, and hopefully have a healthy holiday season.

Dr. Andrew

I had some fairly extensive dental work done yesterday while the boys had a visit with Papa and Grandma. When the three of us arrived home late in the afternoon, I let Andrew know that I didn't feel good and he gave me a concerned look. Then he sprang into action! He got his treasured blue towel (the one he won't go to sleep without) and gave it to me. He suggested that I have a drink of "milk, water, or ginger ale" to help me feel better. He and Benjamin played quietly (well, quietly for them) until Bill came home from work.

Bill told me to go lay down while he fixed supper for the boys. Andrew followed me along like a puppy dog. After bringing me all the blankets off his bed and his pillow, he held his forearm up to my forehead to check my temperature, and then offered me his notepad in case I needed to write something down. He had to go ask Bill for a pen. On the way back to me, he unplugged a short strand of snowman lights to bring them for me to look at. Then he said he needed to take an x-ray and we needed to go to the x-ray room. I asked if he had a portable x-ray machine and he said he'd go get it. He returned with a snowflake light that he held up to my face. He told me I needed to take it easy for a few days. Just before going to sleep, he informed me I should stay in bed "all day long." I think he'll be a very good doctor.

Santa Stalking

In the Ages + Stages section of the recent "Parenting" magazine, there were tips on "surviving Santa." Basically, how to get your toddler to take a decent picture with the jolly fat guy without losing the sanity of at least one person involved. I was looking for any help I could get, so I read eagerly.

Last year, we hired the Easter Bunny for my daughter's first birthday party (we used First in Flight Entertainment, which I highly recommend!) and it was, well, not completely successful. Every picture of my daughter sitting on the Easter Bunny's lap has her reaching for someone just out of the camera's range and screaming in such agonizing pain that you would think the bunny's lap was covered in hot coals. The other babies all took fabulous, angelic pictures, but mine wasn't interested no matter how many times I told her what that bunny was costing me.

I don't know why I was surprised. I, myself, have never really been a big fan of costumed characters and as far as pictures with Santa go, I have seen the worst. You see, two years ago, when I was pregnant with my daughter, my husband and I were living in NYC and needed some extra money to get home for Christmas, so I got a holiday job at Macy's in Herald Square, in Santaland, as an Elf. Yes, I was an Elf. I wish I could say that I have adorable pictures of me in Elfin garb to show you, but I either never took any or accidentally destroyed them all, I'm not sure. And in reality, I only lasted a week there. It was sort of miserable, and if you don't believe me, you can check out Triad Stage's production of "The Santaland Diaries" by David Sedaris. I can vouch for every word.

But the point is, I saw kids who were not happy with sitting on Santa's lap. I remember vividly one child who was so incredibly displeased with being on Santa's lap that she peed on him just to force her parents to let her get down. (They still insisted on taking a picture of her standing next to Santa and I have always wondered if the pee stain on his pants was visible in that picture.)

So, knowing just how traumatizing the Santa photo can be for kids (and parents--and Elves--and Santa) I tore this article out and starting putting the advice to practice. The first recommendation is to "do a dry run," or what I prefer to call Santa Stalking. The article says to let your child watch other children sit on Santa's lap and talk about what they are doing. When your child knows what to expect, they won't be so anxious or scared of Santa.

This made sense to me, so if you have noticed a woman and a small child loitering around Santa at Hanes Mall and talking quietly about the kids sitting on Santa's lap, no need to worry. We are not plotting to kidnap Santa, just discussing the finer points of lap sitting. Each time we have been, I have asked her as we are walking away if she wanted to sit on Santa's lap. Every time she has said "no way!" Until this last time, when she said okay. So, I think we are ready to give it a whirl! We have written her list and I'll be taking plenty of snacks and distractions. Wish me luck!

A Zhu Zhu Pets recall?

One of the most popular new toys of this holiday shopping season is now being put under scrutiny: Good Guide just put out a report saying there are dangerous levels of lead in the toy, and now the CPSC is investigating, saying they will conduct their tests quickly to let American consumers know whether the product will be recalled or not.

In the days of December, when we're frantically searching for gifts for our kids and crossing off the names on our lists, news like this is an unwelcome distraction. But what it does do is make us stop and pay a little closer attention to what we're getting to put under the tree. Thanks to stricter regulations on lead in toys, there have been fewer lead recalls this year, but there were still a few. Here's a list. WATCH, a consumer safety group, also published a list of what they consider to be dangerous toys, something worth checking out before going shopping.

Lead in toys might be one danger, but there are also choking hazards and other risks from toys. The best thing to do when shopping for your kids is just to use common sense. Do your research before you go out, and when you're shopping, inspect the toys as good as possible, within all the packaging. Check their country of origin. Make sure you're buying toys that are age appropriate. And teach your kids the right way to use/play with the toys that they do get. Here are a few safety tips from the CPSC.

A Great Weekend to Be Busy

It's probably been almost a year since my husband and I hired a babysitter and went to the movies, and from talking to other parents I know we're not alone. But checking out the reviews of the new movies out this weekend makes me want to see them all! Between great movies, work parties and other social gatherings, this time of year is one where getting a babysitter is paramount, and sometimes hard because they're in such high demand. I know I had to call three different teens to find a sitter this week, and it was just for a couple of hours on a weeknight. Luckily, there are some pretty good online resources to help find a babysitter. Check out Sitters.com and Care.com, both of which find local, qualified people. You can also find some good people on the local Web site SalemSitters.com.

Of course, I still prefer word of mouth when looking for a babysitter. Ask your neighbors, people at church, mothers in your kids preschool or playgroup. It helps to call enough ahead to get a chance for the kids to meet the babysitter before the actual night out, or if you don't have that much time, just ask her to come a half an hour early so she can meet the kids before you go out. It is also nice if they've had some sort of babysitter training, like this weekend's class in Burlington. When you leave, make the departure as quick and painless as possible. Leave a list of emergency numbers and a schedule for the babysitter, as well as important things like what the kids like to eat and where the favorite snuggle blanket is kept.

And if you can't find a sitter for this weekend, maybe it's an opportunity to do something with the whole family! There are some good new DVDs out, like Night at the Museum 2, Aliens in the Attic and Up. And of course, there are some great light displays in our area to drive through. Pick up a peppermint shake at Chick Fil A and make a night of it.

Count Your Blessings

As amazing as time has flown, we have now passed the Thanksgiving holiday and are headed towards Christmas!

At this time of year I tend to get in that buzz of being busy, busy, busy and not having the money I wish I had to spend and forget just how fortunate I am. This year I am looking into a day that my daughter and I can volunteer and help with the children who are in need this Christmas. I try to remind my daughter that there are so many kids who are hungry or do not get one single gift at Christmas.

As you single moms know, in most situations our children get Christmas with us and our family, grandparents, etc. and then it is off to dad's house for more presents from him and his family, grandparents, etc. At times I feel my daughter gets in the rush of all the presents and thinks nothing but more, more, more! I also realize that most of us are not in the ideal situations we wanted for our kids. We did not choose to be single moms, but here we are. Even so, we still have our children, and that is a lot to be thankful for.

My Inner Elf

The Christmas Spirit has found me early this year! Yesterday, my Facebook status was that I had found my "inner elf." I got all kinds of comments, including someone asking where it had been. It didn't go anywhere, it just woke up from its long winter's nap a bit early.

This Christmas is going to be my best one yet as a parent. The past few have been kind of stressful for me, mostly due to worrying about staying on my pumping schedule or making sure the boys got their naps. This year, being hooked up to a breast pump is a distant memory and if they don't get a nap I know they'll go to bed early and get one the next day. I think my gift to myself this year is confidence. I finally know what I'm doing, at least for the time being.

Bill and I have also been doing Christmas activities with the boys. We saw Santa (for the first time) ridiculously early in November and have already been to look at the lights at Tanglewood. Tomorrow night, we're going Christmas at Creekside at the Archdale Rec Center and I just saw in the paper that Barnes & Noble is having a story time with Mrs. Claus this week.

My house, however, isn't decorated at all. I've tied a red ribbon to the mailbox, and that's it. All of our decorations are in storage-- they're probably on the bottom since we packed them away hoping we'd have Christmas in our new house. I'm looking forward to pulling out the unbreakable ones for the boys to enjoy.

Dear Reader, have you found your inner elf? What's its name?

Why those sports physicals are so important

A wrestler at Southeast Guilford is battling more than just other opponents this year, Justin Milton starts chemotherapy to treat osteosarcoma this week. The teen was diagnosed with cancer after going to the doctor for his sports physical earlier this year. It's easy to think that those sports physicals really aren't that important. You take a sheet with you to your child's doctor visit, he asks the usual questions and then signs it. But they're more important than you think. Justin complained of knee pain, and instead of a pulled tendon like his mom had thought, the doctor investigated and found the cancer. Sports physicals can also be a time when congenital heart defects and anomalies are found. And rather than have kids worry that finding something on the physical might keep them from playing their favorite sport, it might just be an opportunity to learn how to manage a health condition so that they can enjoy a long lifetime of athletics.

If you're interested in helping out Justin and his family, a friend is holding a fashion show at Southeast Guilford High School on Friday night, and all proceeds go to help with medical costs. And to help your own kids, make sure you get those sports physicals and pay attention to their overall health on a daily basis. No one knows your kids better than you do!

Race to the Top for NC

Last night, President Obama made a much-anticipated speech outlining his plan for Afghanistan, and the national spotlight is on security and troops and how it will affect our future and the economy. But in the meantime, school superintendents across the state are working on the details of a grant application with Gov. Perdue, who just reiterated that she needs a decision from them soon for one of Obama's other big initiatives, the Race to the Top, which Perdue plans on submitting an application in time for the Jan. 19 deadline.

Race to the Top is part of the stimulus package that will give $4.35 billion to schools that meet the criteria included in the reform, including helping low-performing schools and rewarding good teachers. The teacher compensation part is what has been controversial, with some arguing that using standardized tests to judge teacher performance is unfair for teachers. Wake Forest professor of education, Scott Baker, says, "we do not, at this time, have assessment systems that can capture a teacher's work in all its complexity." Others are cyncial that throwing money at schools doesn't help that much (see the Wall Street Journal article "The Race to the Top and the Money Myth."

Teaher compensation is definitely a tricky issue. But Guilford and Forsyth Counties are already doing some incentive-based pay, with Guilford's Mission Impossible and Forsyth's Teacher Compensation Plan.

To help make the decision about Race to the Top and teacher compensation, Guilford County held a series of discussion opportunities, and Superintendent Mo Green recently blogged about this topic.

Maybe the fact that we already have some systems in place that link teacher compensation to performance will help make participating in the Race to the Top a no-brainer for North Carolina school superintendents. And while this is probably not the answer to all the woes facing public education, the important think is that we're doing something, and the discussion is still open.