Karen Alley, The Daily Post. As web editor, Karen blogs every day about news and events that are going on either in our area or on a national realm. Bringing together hot topics with local ties is what keeps her perspective on the news interesting.
Renee, Teen-dom Tales, provides a look into the life of a mom of a teen, a stage of life that brings with it a whole new realm of parenting challenges.
Stephanie, Mamma Said, writes witty and insightful posts chronicling the development of her two young boys, ages 3 and 1. As a Greensboro resident, they're out and about at locales around the Triad quite often, and she also brings in the working mom perspective at times, with her part time job.
Lisa, The Single Mom's Soliloquy, adds a different spin on parenting as she writes about the issues, challenges and joys of raising a daughter as a single mom. Her look at life in the new world order of blended families and split families is refreshing and sometimes controversial.
Heather Maggs, of The Time Out Corner, presents a humorous blog on the roller coaster life of a stay-at-home mom of a toddler.
Myra Wright, familiar to you as our editor, also blogs inPiedmont Ponderings. It's a great outlet for her creative sense of humor, and she brings some great perspective to life in King as the mother of three kids.
Heather is a work-at-home mom of a toddler, who joins the team from her home base in Winston-Salem. Her job teaching self defense and personal safety might have her on the road a lot, but it's a great way to be a role model for her daughter and other young women. You might also catch her involved in some local performances, as performing is a passion for both her and her husband. Look to The Time Out corner for a humorous look at the roller coaster ride of parenting.
After a night spent mopping overflowing bath water off my bathroom floor, cleaning pee off of my carseat and trying to calm down a screaming toddler who was up a little past her bedtime, I needed to reconnect with the warm fuzzy side of being a mom.
I started to recollect on my journey into motherhood... A few years back, I attended a spiritual retreat. Actually, I planned the whole thing. The retreat was designed for women living with HIV to relax and leave the world of the virus and its endless medications behind for a day. The event included massages, reiki treatments, a super healthy and super delicious lunch, guided meditations, yoga, a support group meeting and a workshop on journaling and other forms of memory making.
Because all my work was done by that point, I was able to attend both the support group meeting and the journaling workshop. The journaling workshop went beyond using journaling as a form of therapy, but also discussed the importance of leaving a legacy through photos, videos, journals, etc. One of the first projects we worked on was a letter. The workshop leader instructed us to write a letter to the most important person in our life, living or dead.
At the time, I was fresh out of college, boyfriendless, living by myself and sort of on my own. As everyone around me wrote feverishly, I sat there wondering who was the most important person in my life. The leader walked past me and when she saw I was stumped, she leaned down and whispered in my ear. She said, "maybe you should write to the important person you are waiting for." Without another thought, I began to write. I still have the letter I wrote that day. It is in a box at my mother's house. I think most people would have expected me to write a letter to the future love of my life and in a way, I did.
I wrote a letter to my children, who didn't exist at the time. I wrote about how I was living my life making careful decisions that I hoped would make me the best mother possible. I wrote about all the hopes I had for them and the kind of world I hoped to make for them. And by the time I signed my name, I was bawling...like most everyone else in the room.
Fast forward about 6 years and I'm in a hospital room. Waiting for the small spirit that I wrote to all those years ago to enter my life simply by entering the room. With just a few simple pushes, I became not one, but two people--in a way. Because the best parts of me, the things I love the most about me, now walk around independent of me. Cassie is everything to me and for me.
When she was a baby, I used to sing this song to her. And nowadays, when I hear it on the radio, I think of that sweet little angel, the little hellion she has become and how I can't wait to see what's next...pee-stained carseats and all.
I knew I loved you before I met you. I think I dreamed you here tonight. I knew I loved you before I met you. I have been waiting all my life.
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Highlight of the week: I've recently been leading birthday parties for The Children's Theatre of Winston-Salem and I must say...they are a blast! With themes like princesses, Alice in Wonderland, Nancy Drew, pirates, and many more, the possiblities of customizing your little ones next birthday party are endless! I recently conducted a party there and it was reviewed on Triad Smarty Pants! Even if you aren't in the market for a party venue, they offer a super fun season of shows that your kids will love. Some of this year's titles include: Charlotte's Web; Go, Dog, Go! and Click, Clack, Moo. Check out their website for more info!
First, I'll just say that potty training is going great this go around. The hardest thing about it has been keeping myself from eating all of her reward M&Ms! Given that my days at home with Cassie are generally spent talking about potty things, I thought I would talk about something that doesn't involve another human being's bodily functions...if that's alright with everyone.
Friday night, I got to go see Rounding Third at Winston-Salem Theatre Alliance. It's that great show that I recommended last week and that got an incredible review in the Journal on Sunday. As I was watching the show, I started to think about one of the central themes of the play...competition. How do we teach our kids to be competitive without teaching them that winning is everything? In the show, Don (the experienced, win-at-all-costs little league coach played with over-the-top perfection by local actor, Ken Ashford) asks Michael (the new-to-the-game assistant coach who just wants the kids to have fun played with smooth hilarity by Scott Stevens), "how do you have fun playing baseball?" His answer? "Winning. Winning is fun. Losing sucks."
As both coaches and parents, Don and Michael's approaches to the issue of competition are as wildly different as their choice of beverages (Michael drinks mocha lattes while Don prefers "plain old American coffee" or beer.) And it isn't hard to see that each character represents a facet of each of us. Each of us wants our kids to have fun with whatever they do and not feel the pressure to win at everything. But we also want them to...well...WIN! And you don't have to wait until little league or junior soccer to see the buds of competition blooming in our parental eyes. All you have to do is stop in on an infant playdate. Yeah, that's right. None of us wants to admit it, but when that kid in our playgroup who was only 8 months old popped up and started walking, we couldn't help but think that our 11 month old must be the laziest baby ever. And when our precious little angel still wasn't walking at 13 months (even after hours of "exercises" designed to strengthen the leg muscles and encourage upright locomotion), we couldn't quite shake the feeling that we -- both our little ones and ourselves -- were losers.
We all know that kids develop at their own pace and that each child will have strengths and weaknesses, but how do we stifle the desire to be the best? And should we stifle that desire? In a culture where getting into a good school is getting harder and harder, should we push our kids to be the best at everything they do? I don't know the answer. And I don't think that Don and Michael really do either. Neither do the moms on Toddlers and Tiaras or the parents who cry with their kids after misspelling that "easy" word at the Scripts National Spelling Bee or the dads who reward good grades with cash and bad grades with words like "you're a failure."
Like pretty much everything we do as parents, we're all faking it. Pretending to know what's best for our kids and fighting our own inner coach who yells at us to be the best.
* Highlight of the week: Go see the show and let me know what you think! Rounding Third runs this weekend at Winston-Salem Theatre Alliance with shows on Thursday through Saturday nights at 8pm and Sunday afternoon at 2pm. Tickets are available at www.wstheatrealliance.org, and little league coaches get a ticket discount!
So yesterday we began our second attempt at potty training and had a totally successful day!
I'm really hoping to get her off to a good start so that she is mostly potty trained when she starts school in a couple of weeks, but I'm trying to stay realistic about these efforts. The hardest part is when she says "I don't wanna use the potty." How do you respond to that when you know she probably needs to or at least needs to try?
The other hard thing is that she is insisting on sleeping with the side off of her crib. (You know, toddler-bed style.) And I'm already feeling overwhelmed with the changes, so I can imagine that she is as well or is going to be overwhelmed with them at some point. I just hope we can stay focused this time and make some strong strides towards this whole potty training thing. Mommy sure could use that money spent on diapers to pay for school supplies!
Highlight of the week: Another awesome offering from Winston-Salem Theatre Alliance! The show is called Rounding Third and it revolves around "the hilarious and tumultuous journey of two Little League coaches through an entire season, from their first tentative meeting to the climactic championship game. Don is the rough, blue-collar, win-at-all-costs veteran coach, and Michael is the newcomer, a corporate executive who's never played baseball before. Over the course of exhilarating victories, heartbreaking defeats and interminable rainouts, the two men battle over how to lead the team. A clever comedy which asks the question: how should we raise our children, and what does it mean to be an American man?"
I saw the show last year at a theatre in Greensboro and was blown away by its touching, witty and incredibly funny script as well as the performances of Ken Ashford and Scott Stevens. I've had the pleasure of working with both these guys and I kid you not when I say that they really are the two best actors in North Carolina. The show is definitely for grown-ups, but ladies, if you've been trying to get your man to come see a show with you and he has always turned up his nose at "Oklahoma" or "Steel Magnolias," this is the show you must take him to! He will laugh, you will laugh and cry, and you'll both go home feeling it was money well spent!
The show runs August 20, 26, 27 and 28, 2010 at 8 PM and August 22 and 29, 2010 at 2 PM. Go to http://www.wstheatrealliance.org or call 1-800-838-3006 to get your tickets!
Perhaps the hardest thing about being separated is that I have a lot more time away from my doodlebug. Right now, Jeff has her in Buffalo visiting his family, and I won't see her again until Thursday. It is the longest time we have spent away from each other...ever. And I'm not enjoying it, although I know she is having a wonderful time visiting with her little cousins.
It is hard even just on a day-to-day basis when she is staying with her dad. When we lived together, I'd at the very least get to see her first thing in the morning and usually have breakfast with her. Now, if I have a busy day and she is staying with him, I don't get to see her at all, and it is a big change.
I know that I haven't talked much about my separation on this blog, but if I could go back and change things, I would. My husband and I bit off more than we could chew by moving to NYC early in our marriage, having a baby (a surprise for us), moving back to NC, buying a house, and Jeff starting law school. All in our first 3 years! If I could go back and be the voice of reason that said, "let's not move to NY and overwhelm ourselves with changes," maybe I could have saved our marriage, I don't know. If for no other reason than the selfish one of wanting to see my daughter every single day, I wish that I could turn back that clock and make things right.
I'm sure I'll get used to sharing custody and seeing her less, but I'll never be happy with it. Wow! Didn't really intend this entry to be such a downer. LOL!
I guess I should mention that I finalized my 30 things to do before I turn 30 list and I am already working on a couple of items. I'm really excited to accomplish some awesome things in the next year.
Highlight of the week: The church I work for (First Presbyterian Downtown) is hosting "Veggie Tales Live: Sing Yourself Silly." If you are a fan of Bob and Larry (or at least if your little ones are), come check them out on October 13th at either 1:30pm or 6pm. Go to www.1stpres.com for more info!
Ok, enough excitement, but really, I just love birthdays. Mostly, I love other people's birthday because I love being able to make someone else feel special. But today's mine, so my turn to feel special! I'm turning 29, which means I only have one more year until I turn the big 3-0. And honestly, I'm excited about it!
A bunch of my friends are celebrating this milestone in the next year and we've created a sort of project. It's 30 Things to do before I Turn 30. So far, I love my list, but I need a few more items. 1- Visit Hawaii 2- Get rid of my credit card debt 3- Become conversational in Spanish again (I used to be fluent! What happened?) 4- Host a full out dinner party for some of my friends 5- Create and perform a little caberet show with just me and maybe a couple of my fabulously talented friends 6- Plant my own garden 7- Go on a hot air balloon ride even though I am freakishly scared of heights (preferably in Hawaii) 8- Go to a drive-in movie 9- Learn how to shoot a gun 10- Put some crazy color in my hair and leave it that way for a while (not necessarily dye all my hair a crazy color, but maybe just a strip of it) 11- Take one full day of my life and devote it solely to my daughter (no email, no phone, no distractions - just me and her) 12- Take one full day of my life and devote it solely to volunteering for a cause I feel really passionate about 13- Raise $1,000 for AIDSWalk Washington DC (go here to donate or here to join our team!) 14- Forgive 15- Get certified to teach a full-contact self-defense course 16- Get certified to teach Zumba 17- Read a classic novel that I never read in school (Any suggestions?) 18- Make a cake from scratch 19- Buy one really stylish outfit (I'll need help with this one because I have no fashion sense whatsoever) 20- Go white water rafting 21- Make a recording of me singing a song (or a few) that I love 22- Learn to knit
Any suggestions for my final 8? I only have 1 year to accomplish this, so I'm trying to go for some easier items that won't cost me too much money, but that I really sincerely want to do. I've got a couple of ideas, but I'm not sure that they are good enough for the list. Let me know your thoughts!
Highlight of the week: Still King Mackerel and the Blues and Running at Winston-Salem Theatre Alliance. They got a fabulous review in the Journal and after getting a chance to catch yesterday's matinee, I couldn't recommend it more highly. Great music, wonderful voices and fun stories that will really transport you to the Carolina coast. For those of us who can't afford a beach trip this year, buy a ticket and you'll get that beachy feeling for a blissful 2 hours.
