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| Is My Kid OK? |
2/1/2010 |
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| Help! I Fear My Daughter is Shoplifting |
| Written by: |
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Kate Murr |
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Q: I suspect that my teenage daughter is shoplifting. What should I do?
In the United States, shoplifters steal about $25 million in merchandise from stores each day. That breaks down to an extra $300 each year that you and your family have to pay in higher prices to cover the losses caused by shoplifting. Teen shoplifting accounts for about 50 percent of all shoplifting cases in the U.S. Though teen shoplifting accounts for the majority of theft crimes, teens steal only one-third of what adults do.
Teen shoplifting is one of those things that may be difficult to detect. Teenage shoplifting is not limited to the troubled teens with problems. Many “model” teens who do their homework, get good grades and help out around the house have a problem with stealing.
Most of the time the reason teens give for shoplifting is that they were bored and didn’t have anything better to do. However, there are several additional reasons such as rebellion or peer pressure. Some complex reasons for teen shoplifting include cries for help. Stealing can give them a sense of control over their lives, and give them a sense of euphoria that they normally do not get. Some teens steal as a way to draw attention to themselves.
Parents need to be aware of other reasons teens may fall prey to the temptation of shoplifting. Peer pressure among teens plays an important role when it comes to shoplifting. Some teens shoplift brand-name items so that they can keep up with their peers who wear the latest and greatest in today’s fashions. Electronics have also become a popular industry among teens, who want mp3 players, cell phones, video games and other small expensive items. Some teens feel they have to have the “best” to compete with their peers.
Parents need to be aware of their teen and notice any new items of clothing or electronic devices. Don’t be afraid to ask your teen where they attained their new treasures. Being observant allows the teen to know their parents care and may substantially reduce the desire to steal.
Some teens may shoplift on a dare made by a friend or may want to feel accepted by a group of friends who shoplift regularly. In some cases, teens may shoplift simply for attention from friends and family. The teen needs to know the consequences of stealing enough to never want to shoplift. Normal processing of shoplifters involves calling the parents (and police) after the teen is detained. Shoplifters may be handcuffed and publically escorted through the store to the manager’s office. Multiple offenses may earn a criminal record, making it very hard for the shoplifter to be hired. Shoplifters who are caught but not prosecuted may have their names placed in a database that some employers have access to and could prevent future hires.
Parents do not need to make excuses for their teen who is caught shoplifting. This only teaches the teen disrespect for authority. The teen must recognize that his or her behavior was wrong, no matter what the reason was for stealing. Keep the lines of communication open with your teen. Understanding is crucial in resolving any problem the teen might be facing. If shoplifting problems tendencies are not addressed during adolescence, the behavior may be carried out into adult life, with bigger implications. This is a serious crime and should not be treated lightly, but as an opportunity to teach our children to become honest members of society.
Kate Murr is a marketing specialist for Moses Cone Behavioral Health in Greensboro. Please submit your questions to “Is My Kid OK?” by e-mailing sherri.mcmillen@mosescone.com.
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